


Cuddle Negotiations

by Destiel_Giggity



Series: Endverse Negotiations [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol as coping mechanism, Blowjobs, Camp Chitaqua, Cuddling, Dean's memories of John, Dry Humping, Flirting, Jealous Dean, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John winchester being homophobic, Knitting, M/M, Mention of pegging, Possessive Dean, Sexism, Sexual Tension, Somnophilia, handjob, idek, internalised sexism, kind of, mention of femdom, repressed sexuality, sub chuck, suppressed feelings and stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 11:50:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5415854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Giggity/pseuds/Destiel_Giggity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas wants cuddles, Dean wants Cas sober - negotiations ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Started off as a one shot but apparently I am incapable of writing short fics.

It was morning at camp Chitaqua and Dean was sitting on his uncomfortable bed doodling in his father's tattered journal, the leather was still in tact albeit a little worse for wear. The old pages detailing his father's research and findings about the Supernatural and Dean's own foray into the fight had long been taken out and stored in a forgotten drawer. The pages now filled with strategies; first with ideas on how to cure the croatoan virus, then how to get around those infected with the croatoan virus and then the best places to hit or shoot the infected to escape or to hinder.

The page Dean currently had open had a detailed Floorplan of a factory that they were planning to hit later in the week. Multiple scouting expeditions lead them to believe that the factory had not been touched by infected or survivors. The factory itself was a textile manufacturer which didn't really help them but what would help them was all the vending machines, iron and toilet paper that would undoubtedly be found in the storage rooms.

Dean continued to doodle in a corner of the page absent-mindedly when he felt movement on the other side of the mattress. A blonde long haired woman emerged from the sheets yawning and watched him doodle. Dean purposefully didn't make eye contact mainly because he was trying to remember the girls name. He knew she had been rescued from the outskirts of town about 4 months ago but couldn't for the life of him remember what her name was.

It was the same mission that Cas had broken his foot on and was left invalid for a good month. Dean remembered Cas being insufferable for that whole month - not having experienced any sort of real human pain before, who could blame him but Dean wondered if Cas was putting on a show because with the amount of drugs the ex angel took, it was surprising that he could feel anything let alone how much pain he kept groaning he had. Dean half smiled at the memory.

Dean didn't mind helping him though, deep down he felt an insurmountable guilt knowing Cas was cut of from the rest of the angels and his powers because he chose to follow Dean. Why he made that decision is still anyone's guess.

"Cas?" The slightly too high pitched voice of the girl next to him said.

Dean forgot he was ignoring her "what?" He asked gruffly.

The girl flinched at the rough tone "your drawing, is that Cas?"

Dean looked down at the doodle and saw a familiar profile messy sex hair and all stylistically framed by some detailed wings. Dean looked down at the drawing and snapped the journal closed.

The girl shrugged and stretched her arms up in the air seemingly trying to entice Dean with her exposed breasts. Dean wasn't in the mood especially with this high pitched girl who now that he thought about it he couldn't remember when, how or why he had brought her to his bed. . . Well he could imagine why.

He remembered going to the secret meeting with the makeshift council they had going at Camp Chitaqua. Cas was late and smelled of sweat and gin. They all decided on the best date to tackle the factory and discussed other petty rivalries going on in the camp. Dean however did not pay as much attention as he should have - distracted by Cas who had pulled out a goddam ball of yarn and knitting needles and started to fucking knit. 

It didn't seem to bother anyone else as much as it annoyed Dean. He didn't even know why it irked him so much - maybe because it was such a passive thing to do that reminded Dean that Cas was so far from being an angel, so vulnerable like a little old lady when once he was a powerful being that could time travel and smite.

He remembered asking the fallen angel if it was completely necessary to knit during the meeting and the fucker had simply shrugged and deadpanned that it was more interesting than the meeting discussions. Then Dean remembered getting angry and telling him that no one was holding a Gun to his head to be there.

And Cas had stood up packed his knitting and walked off grumbling to himself about how he could be found in his cabin smoking and fornicating.

For some reason Cas' hissy fit really made Dean mad, which was weird because Cas was just being Cas. Well not real Cas and definitely not angel Cas that's for sure but the same Cas he had been for the last few years. Dean remembered going back to his room after the tedious meeting ended and finding a stashed bottle of Jack in one of his old duffles. . . And then. . . blank. 

"Is it true?" The nameless naked blonde haired woman asked Dean as she got up from the mattress wiggling her naked butt at Dean with a look over her shoulder.

Dean blinked out of his memories and turned to her with a hard stare "is what true?"

The girl shrugged again and picked up a red dress from the floor "word around the camp is that Cas used to be an angel. . . Seems a bit farfetched to me considering how much sex, drugs and apathy can be found in his cabin"

Dean narrowed his eyes at her "you've been in Cas' cabin?"

"Oh sure, the first night I was here" she said with a wink as she applied a generous amount of red lipstick on her already red lips.

Dean thought back to the day Cas had hurt his ankle and grimaced "he was hurt"

"I don't know how you do it, cowboy but we didn't need his ankle for what we did" she smacked her lips and put the lipstick away in a purse that seemingly appeared from no where.

Dean was thoroughly annoyed by the fact that he had brought such a self assured hussy into his bed and was about to tell her to leave when the door to his cabin open abruptly and Cas flounced in talking as if they had been in the middle of a conversation "and another thing Winchester, I don't appreciate being treated like a kid - if I want to fucking knit in a meeting I'LL FUCKING KNIT IN A MEETING" Cas had headed straight for Dean's liquor without sparing a glance to Dean or his unwelcome guest.

The girl smiled "I'll leaved you both to it then" she winked at Dean and slinked past Cas "sooner rather than later hopefully" she directed at Cas. 

Dean saw Cas raise an eyebrow and say "sure, doll" without even looking at her.

She walked out of the room swaying her hips in a purposeful way. When the door clicked Cas made eye contact with Dean for the first time since he had walked in "who the fuck was that?"

Dean's insides relaxed a little at the knowledge that he hadn't slept with one of Cas' regulars and felt just a tiny bit relieved that she had meant next to nothing to Cas.

"I dunno, some chick, I cant really remember how she ended up here but I'm loose and relaxed this morning so I guess she must have done something right" Dean looked up at Cas with as much disinterest as he could muster "the real question is what the fuck are you doing in my cabin at the ass crack of dawn?"

Cas' eyes glazed over which Dean had come to realise meant he was trying to remember something. 

Dean looked away as he placed the journal on the small table by his bed "Did you just come to bitch at me for kicking you out of the meeting?"

Cas raised his eyebrows and smiled as a disapproving huff escaped his lips "I think you'll find that I left of my own volition" 

Cas picked up his glass of whiskey and made his way around the side of the bed that Dean wasn't occupying and started to take his shoes off with one hand. then he made himself comfortable on the mattress - never once spilling a drop of his whiskey.

"Cas what are you doing" asked Dean in a tired voice.

"Getting comfortable on your uncomfortable mattress and drinking your whiskey. What are you doing dean?" He said innocently and took a sip of the whiskey as he settled on his side facing Dean.

Dean was confused by the turn in events, Cas in all his years as a debauched fallen angel had never tried to seduce Dean. A point which both relieved and angered Dean. Not that he had any feelings for the wanton creature who at that moment was looking at him over the glass of his whiskey. 

"Cas what is this? Did you run out of people at the camp to fuck? Because when we hit the factory - we'll be sure to come across some new willing participants for you to seduce" Dean had started rubbing his eyes simply so he wouldnt have to look at Cas anymore.

Cas huffed into the glass "you're close but not quite" he finished off the amber liquid in one gulp and leant over the opposite side of the bed to put the glass down, when he turned to face Dean again - he shuffled closer.

"Dean I need to ask you a favor but you have to promise not to laugh" cas' eyes were serious and his face looked a lot more tired and vulnerable than Dean had seen it in years.

Intrigued by the change of mood Dean replied "Uh sure buddy - what's up?"

"I need cuddles" Cas said as casual as if he were asking for a pen.

Dean narrowed his eyes "Well that was definitely not what I expected".

"I don't like cuddling the people that sleep with me because then they think we're a 'thing' and Become possessive and I . . . " Cas looked at the far wall with glazed eyes. "I don't love any of them to commit solely to them"

Dean cleared his throat "So why me then?"

Cas three his head back on the mattress and exasperatedly explained "Because we haven't had sex, and I need non sexual physical contact, do you realise how hard it is trying to find someone I haven't had sex with at this camp?"

Dean grimaced again "Way to make a guy feel special" he joked.

Cas blinked and looked back at Dean with predatory gaze "I could whisper sweet nothings in your ear and cuddle seduce you if you prefer?"

Dean shifted on the mattress "Uh, No thanks Cas - why the sudden need for cuddling anyway?"

Cas shrugged "I'm more or less human - I've been starving the side of me that craves human contact without the promise of sex"

"How about cuddling after sex?"

"Same thing - Gives people the wrong impression" Cas said waving the suggestion off.

Dean wouldn't have considered this for anyone else but Cas "Right. Is this completely necessary or Is this something that you could live without?"

Cas made a dramatic sighing sound and leaned back on the mattress "I knew you weren't going to want to do this."

Dean rubbed his face again "Cas I'm not a cuddler"

Cas sighed "Dean, you forget I was an angel once and before I realised humans were uncomfortable with others in their minds I heard a lot of your casual thoughts . . ." 

Dean's eyes widened but he kept his face stony "so?"

"So I know you enjoy cuddling" Cas said picking some lint of his shoulder.

Dean looked down at his hands "I used to enjoy cuddling Cas - I'm a different person than I was 5 years ago" which wasn't a lie.

Cas stayed silent for a moment before he slowly said "True. . . but the fundamentals haven't changed - you still look out for those in need, you smile at cute things when you think no one's watching, you still keep a photo of sam, you and I in your drawer and you're still a cuddler"

Dean winced at the mention of his brother but another thought fired his voice "have you been going through my stuff Cas?"

Cas cheeks and the tips of his ears turned slightly pink "Last month . . . when the camp ran out of booze - I systematically searched all the cabins for every last drop I could find - I'm not proud of it but I did manage to find a worrying amount of dildos that our camp has - I think we may have more dildos than guns to be honest. . . If we could only harness their power against the crotes"

Dean tried really hard not to laugh but a small smirk escaped it's way onto his face. In that moment his determination softened and he felt like he should stop being an ass for a moment and help his friend who has hardly ever asked anything of him.

With a sigh Dean turned his face fully to Cas "Ok, you get one cuddle but that's it"

"10 cuddles" countered Cas.

"What? This isn't a negotiation!" Dean spluttered.

Castiel stared into Dean's eyes "10 cuddles and I will be sober during meetings for . . . Um. . . 2 months"

That actually was a good deal, it always bothered Dean that one of their best strategists who had actually served in a heavenly garrison was never sober enough to give his two cents during meetings

Dean's face hardened again "2 cuddles and sober during meetings for a month"

Castiel rolled his eyes "20 cuddles and sober for an hour"

"What? Cas thats not how negotiations work!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were just spouting unfair offers" Cas said nonchalantly.

"Fine, 8 cuddles and sober meetings for 2 months" Dean said through gritted teeth.

Cas propped himself up on his arm more interested in the conversation "10 cuddles, 2 months of sober meetings . . . And I will stop knitting around you"

Dean let his face soften. "Yeah ok . . . Deal" Dean held out his hand for Cas to shake but Cas simply looked at his hand with a knowing smile "how about we cuddle on it?"

"Cas . . ." Dean's voice came out as an exasperated sigh.

"Don't say you've got to be somewhere this morning because I checked with Chuck" Cas said while biting his nail.

"Fine, how do you want to do this" Dean said defeatedly but still petulant enough to cross his arms.

Cas' face tilted to one side which reminded Dean of when he was an angel "Um laying on our sides with you hugging me from behind?" Cas said finally.

Dean tried to keep his voice calm "Cas, that's spooning not cuddling. Spooning is what you suggest when you want someone to rub their butt on your junk or want to rub your butt on their junk"

Cas frowned "Fine, lay back then"

Dean was a bit apprehensive but trusted Cas so he lay back on his mattress obediently. Cas smiled a gummy smile down at Dean before he laid his head on Dean's shoulder, pulled Dean's arm around his own waist and then wound his own arm low on Dean's abdomen.

Once their bodies had relaxed Cas let out a contented hum and hugged Dean a little closer.

Dean looked up at the ceiling trying to sort through the mixed emotions he felt. On one hand this whole situation felt foreign despite the familiar smell of Cas that chemical and debauchery had never taken from the ex angel. On the other hand the weight on his shoulder, chest and abdomen was very pleasant. . . Dean may even have gone as far as saying it was nice, especially the tiny movements of Cas' hand on his side and the heat their combined bodies were producing.

Dean closed his eyes and decidedly enjoyed the relaxing moment for what it was. . . Until Cas moved his leg over Dean's and Dean felt something in his groin twitch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of "the cuddle" and a quick history of Dean and Rheesa's relationship (past)

Everything happened in the space of a few seconds - Dean sprung from the bed so quickly that he thought he'd given himself whiplash, at the same time he had thrown Cas to the opposite side of the bed which then made Cas topple off the edge of the mattress.

It took about 2 minutes for Dean's breathing to start to calm down which Dean chose to believe had more to do with the sudden exertion instead of. . . The other thing.

After several more seconds had passed, Dean started to panic as Cas didn't emerge from behind the bed. Great, Dean thought, on top of everything else - he had knocked Cas unconscious.

Dean threw himself on the bed and peeked over the side of the mattress to find Cas casually trying to light a joint as if he hadn't just been thrown off the bed during cuddling.

Dean released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding and then he let his stony mask return to his face.

Cas finally lit his joint "that was an interesting approach to the traditional cuddle. . . It was quite bracing near the end there." He smirked as he took a long drag from the pungent joint.

"Yeah. . . I Uh. . . I guess I'm out of practice. . . " Dean felt the blood rush to his cheeks which although embarrassing - was better than anywhere else his blood had considered rushing to in the last 10 minutes.

Castiel narrowed his eyes trying to read Dean's face "I see. . . Well then, lucky for you - we have 10 more cuddles for you to perfect the art" Cas lifted the top half of his body on his elbows.

Dean brought his body up off the mattress "10? I don't know how much you've smoked today buddy but we're down by one"

Cas shook his head and gave Dean a sidelong smirk "I dont believe we are, you see that was a handshake cuddle not spoils of the deal"

Dean had his forefinger and thumb on the bridge of his nose "Caaaaas. . ." Dean was totally done with this shit.

"Deeeeean" Cas mocked back.

Dean straightened his back realising he wasn't going to win this fight and what's one more cuddle if it meant having Cas back to normal. . .ish? "Fine Cas, whatever, we have another meeting tonight for the factory job, you better hold up your end of the bargain"

"I will" Cas replied solemnly, he pointed to the joint dangling from his mouth "this will be gone from my system before then"

Dean sighed in relief and felt like they were finally getting somewhere. 

Cas got up from the floor in one swift movement that befitted a cat more than a drugged out nympho ex angel.

Cas dusted himself off, took one more drag of the joint before burying the joint in a nearby pot plant that Dean could barely remember he even owned "Welp I'll see you tonight for the meeting and then a cuddle"

Dean looked up forgetting to disguise his surprise "Uh. . Cuddling again . . . Tonight?" 

"Yeah unless you have plans with brunette hussies like last night" Cas said with a shrug and a sniff.

"Last nigh - she was blonde, and no I'm not planning to see her again. . . In that capacity, not that I should have to explain" Dean felt his body heat up with a mixture of anger and guilt for some reason.

"Whatever - I just don't want to walk in on anything" Cas began walking to the door of the cabin.

Dean's mouth started talking before his brain had a chance to filter the train of thought "Oh you mean like the multiple times I've walked into your cabin and you've had your cock in someone's mouth or that time that there were literally 10 naked people writhing on your floor with you at the centre?" Dean had started raising his voice near the end of his sentence and he wasn't entirely sure why.

He looked at Cas who had an expression he had not seen on that face in a long time. It was sadness and it made Dean's chest tight and his breathing shallow.

"Cas. . . I'm. . -"

Cas' face fogged back in an instance "if you were so jealous of my conquests - you should have said something" the fucker said with a toothy grin.

Dean grimaced and threw his hands in the air "Ugh just get out Cas, and I swear, if you're not sober tonight. . ." 

"Yes yes, oh fearless leader, I will be sober and alert for . . .our cuddle"

Although Dean hadn't been looking at Cas' face at the time? He knew the bastard had said the last bit with an even bigger smile.

"That's not what I. . . . Ugh" the irritating ex angel had already left before Dean could finish his sentence.

***

The rest of the day was pretty standard for Dean - he delegated perimeter patrols amongst the camp, dealt with minor squabbles and audited their stocks with Chuck.

Yup, everything was normal except of course that Dean's mind kept wandering to the post meeting activities. Would Cas put his leg over Dean again? Would he suggest spooning again? Would Dean say no? Would he get the fire in his belly? Was Dean growing a vagina? Was he going to have a period soon? Dean nervously laughed to himself as he realised how much traditional sexual norms had been ingrained into his consciousness.

Chuck cleared his throat next to Dean "Um Dean - we have have 19 bags of flour not 69 and Uh . . . you wrote cas instead of cases there and I don't even know what that word says . . . it um looks like . . . cuddl-" Dean snatched the ledger away from chuck.

"I'm just s bit off this morning, I had a rough night" Dean rubbed his eyes before opening the ledger and fixing his embarrassing mistakes.

"Oh yeah, right, you and Pepper. . ." Chuck smiled in that nervously creepy way he always did when he spoke about women.

"What? Pepper? What?" Dean exclaimed intelligently looking at chuck expectantly.

"Yeah she's been bragging all day to anyone who'll listen about your um tryst last night" Chuck held his fist up for Dean to bump but Dean just looked at the fist in disgust and Chuck slowly lowered it.

"Pepper is the name of a person?!" Dean could feel his cheeks burning again.

Chuck turned around and started to shuffle supplies around "Wooh boy, how drunk were you last night?"

"Apparently drunk enough to sleep with someone named after a condiment." Just great, Dean thought, not only was she a hussy but she was over confident AND a blabber mouth, Dean had hit the the douche chick trifecta.

"Nobody really cares about who sleeps with who anyway, I mean look at Cas right?" Chuck laughed his nervous laugh that Dean had grown accustomed to but still felt uneasy by the mention of Cas and his . . . Sexual practices.

"I guess. . . " Dean replied before the silence became too awkward.

"Except. . ." Chucks eyes darted between Dean and the door like if he was planning to make a break for it.

"Except?" Dean asked.

"I mean, it's probably nothing but uh, Pepper was talking to Uh, Rheesa before" Chuck had become more agitated by the second.

"Rheesa and I are ancient history, Chuck" and that was the truth, she had started to get that look in her eye that meant she wanted to slowly take her stuff into Dean's cabin and there just was no room for long term commitments in their lives what with the death and survival. So Dean had done what he always did when he wanted to scare a woman off - he slept with someone else and made sure Rheesa found out. 

Rheesa was not happy, she almost cut Dean's cock off at one point but then the girl Dean had slept with had died on a supply run and Rheesa backed off and then eventually they began talking again because of council meetings which made life so much easier for Dean. He felt a pang of guilt at the fact that he couldn't remember the dead girls name.

"Yeah, so I know you and Rheesa have Uh, reached some sort of understanding but uh. . " Chuck wasn't even meeting Dean's eyes anymore.

Dean sighed "Spit it out, Chuck"

"I wasn't eavesdropping or anything but um" Chuck looked down at his hands guiltily which made him look like a kid confessing "I heard pepper talking about how you wanted her to move into your cabin or something"

Dean's eyes widened "What?!?! I did not!"

Chuck stepped away defensively "um I think Rheesa might've believed her because she broke the pen she was holding and walked off without saying a word"

Uuuuugh Dean was so done with this stupid ass day. He just wanted to curl up in his bed, maybe with. . . No. Dean was definitely not letting his mind wander to that grey area of weirdness.

And great, it was time for the council meeting too. Where Rheesa might be waiting with a knife in an attempt to cut Dean's dick off . . . Again. . . Just fan-tastic.

On his walk to the cabin where it had been decided the meeting would be held Dean wondered if they still had the football gear they had found a few months back, he thought with a frown that it might be a good idea to start walking around with a crotch cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll write a couple more chapters to this because I dig Endverse Cas' sassiness.
> 
> Any comments or kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first sober meeting and more cuddling and reactions to said cuddling.

The meeting was one of their more interesting ones to date. Rheesa did not attempt to cut Dean's dick off but she did slap him across the face and call him an emotionless man-child in front of the 4 other council members. 

Dean figured he got off easy.

Cas did turn up sober to the meeting which Dean found very surprising and he found himself nostalgic for the days that they would strategise together leading up to the apocalypse. Cas' voice had even changed back to that gritty growl that commanded respect and his eyes were as bright as a clear blue sky. Dean cringed at his lapse into semi poetry but didn't dwell on it.

Dean could tell the other leaders of the camp were surprised but no one questioned the change in Cas and instead hung on to his every word, some even took notes. Cas in less than 20 minutes had pointed out weak spots in their defence when entering the factory compound and had suggested a flanking position that would be extremely efficient as they entered the factory.

Dean was so pleased by the end of the meeting he couldn't hold back the smile on his face. Yes, he thought, he would give Cas infinity cuddles if it meant he would stay this way.

After the meeting had finished - everyone wanted to talk to Cas like he was some sort of rockstar. Dean thought it was funny at first seeing as Cas seemed slightly uncomfortable by the sudden attention but then it started to irk dean which he put down as a result of it being well past midnight of a long ass day, Dean figured Cas had forgotten about the cuddle and decided to sneak out and turn in, trying not feel a slight disappointment.

On the way back to his cabin his brain was already starting to pleasantly fuzz from sleepiness when he noticed someone standing just outside his door. Even in his sleepiness, Dean still reached for the gun stashed in his jacket until he saw a familiar nest of dark hair and then the familiar glowing ember of a joint being smoked.

Cas had apparently not only beaten Dean to his cabin somehow but was already trying to escape reality. Dean felt a twinge another twinge of disappointment but told himself that he more or less expected that to happen.

"Cas? How did you get here before me?"

"Jimmy was a runner, his body is quite athletic" Cas shrugged as he flicked the finished joint into the bushes "plus I guess being sober helped me not get lost"

"Ah" was the only thing Dean could think of saying as Cas got up and Dean opened the cabin door.

Cas followed Dean in and made his way to the bed where he slipped off his shoes and lay back with his hands behind his head. 

Dean huffed in a an amused way "Make yourself comfortable why dontcha" even though it made his stomach flutter a little at the thought of Cas being so comfortable in Dean's cabin.

"I intend to, especially when you come here and join me" Cas said with a smile that showed he was much too pleased with himself.

Dean started to walk around the room moving stuff unnecessarily in a fidgety way "So I guess we're Uh. . ."

Cas' lip curled upwards in a crooked smile "Cuddling yes. I saw you sneak out of the meeting, who knew that you would be the one trying to get out of the deal?"

Dean was going to defend himself but decided to play Cas' game for now instead "Well I didn't want to disappoint your new fan club."

Cas' smile widened "Ah jealousy again, you're getting much too clingy Winchester"

Dean turned away when he took his shoes off moreso that Cas didn't see his ear to ear grin. When Dean had taken off his jacket he decided to bite the bullet "so um, same as this morning?"

"Hmm, that was nice - can we try reversing it and you lie on my chest?" Said Cas in a spaced out manner which could have been the weed kicking in or the memory of this morning.

"Um. . . Sure we can do that" Dean felt like he should be glad that as the person on 'top' - he would be able to control the length and intricacy of the cuddle.

He looked up at Cas who was watching him with big round blue eyes and patting the empty space next to him on the mattress.

Dean walked over to the bed and slowly slotted himself against Cas' body. Cas wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulder and guided Dean's arm around his stomach. 

Dean had never been the cuddlee in this situation and found that despite the unfamiliarity of it and how unmanly it probably looked, it was again quite pleasant. 

The next 10 minutes or so we're spent with both men breathing softly and Cas humming contently every so often (which Dean was starting to find adorable but only in a tiny compartment of his mind that was only allowed to the forefront in small doses).

Dean's mind had dipped into a sweet fog of sleepiness, a berries scent for some reason and a lingering soft weed smell that he had come to associate with Cas.

Adding to the pleasantries, Dean thought he felt long soft fingers stroking through his hair just before his mind shut down for the night.  
***

Dean's dreams were a mess ever since the apocalypse, Dean had dreamt about past hunts. Rekilling all the monsters, he faced with his dad and then with his brother. Every morning after those dreams he would be filled with despair by the fact that even though they had saved all those people, it was all for nothing because they had all probably died in the apocalypse or turned into Crotes.

Then there were the bittersweet nights where Dean would talk to Sam and it felt like Sam was really there. They would talk about Dean's life at the camp and Sam would ask about Cas and seemed genuinely sad when Bobby had passed. Dean still wasn't sure if it was the real Sam or not but he figured even if it was, he didn't seem to be in any pain or asked to be rescued. Any plans to rescue Sam had been abandoned years ago due to the massive loss of people every time they tried.

The morning after those dreams were the worst, they would be the ones where Dean would walk out of their camps perimeters and go on a Crotes killing spree. The rashness of his anger and sadness had nearly got him killed the first couple of times he did it but once they had scouted the area properly Dean knew where the best places to blow off steam were. Nobody but Chuck knew about these lapses in judgment but he had long stopped trying to speak reason to Dean when he got that way.

For the first time in weeks maybe months, Dean had no dreams - just a good relaxing healing sleep. He woke up gradually feeling amazing.

A soothing array of figure 8s were being traced on his back and a tiny jolt of exciting nice feeling went up his spine when he slightly readjusted his hips.

Dean felt his hips snap up and the nice feeling travelled up his spine again but with more urgency.

Suddenly the sleep fog lifted and Dean opened his eyes. He stared at a softly breathing stomach and some tented sweatpants a bit further down and realised he had fallen asleep on top of Cas.

"Good morning Dean" came the gruff Cas voice from above Dean's head. Dean freaked out but at least had managed to not throw Cas off the bed this time. Dean looked up and was met by the bluest eyes he had ever seen even by Cas : Angel of the Lord standards. Dean knew he was staring but he just couldn't stop. Cas smiled softly and brought his hand to Dean's face and it was too late before Dean realised it was to wipe away sleep drool. 

"It seems my body has decided it like likes you" Cas said with a sleepy wink.

Dean's cheeks flushed and he felt his own pants getting tighter "uh I remember reading once that morning Uh wood was due to one of the sleep cycles or something?"

"Hmm yes I guess that would make sense, during REM the body is pumping more blood to the body for recovery purposes. One problem though"

"Hmm?" Dean replied.

"I didn't sleep at all" Cas said with an almost shy look to Dean.

"Oh. . . " Dean's stomach fluttered a little "um why not?"

Cas let himself yawn a little "I slept during the day, plus it felt nice to watch over you again like I did . . . In the past" there was a sad tone to Cas' words that made Dean swallow a lump in his throat.

Dean found himself snuggling up closer to Cas without really meaning to . . For comfort he told himself. 

Cas chuckled "you're amazingly cuddly when you're asleep and when you've just woken up"

Dean huffed into Cas' chest where he had laid his head again "Yeah well, don't get use to it, I just had a really good sleep is all"

"Hmm" hummed Cas.

With his head on Cas' chest he could see right down the ex angel's body and saw the bulge that had gotten bigger in Cas' pants "Um are you going to take care of that?"

There was a tense silence only being filled by their breathing and Dean accidentally listening to Cas heart beat.

Cas gravelly voice finally spoke "Are you going to take care of yours?"

Dean fidgeted as it became obvious that Cas knew about his own apparent arousal "Um eventually I guess."

"You're tensing up" Cas squeezed Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah, I um have never been this close to a . . . Yknow" Dean pointed casually down at Cas' erection "besides my own"

"My body reacted to you making little sexy noises in your sleep and rubbing up against my thigh" Cas said casually.

Dean swallowed hard "oh sorry man, I . . . Uh"

"It's ok Dean, it was actually quite cute" Cas said with a smile Dean could hear.

Cas reached down to his own crotch with the hand not curled around Dean and adjusted the bulge a bit. "Sorry, it was getting painful in that position"

Dean's cheeks flushed which he thought was impossible considering where most of his blood was rushing to "So, uh we should probably get up and deal with our own . . . " Dean waved roughly in the direction of Cas' and then his own erection.

Cas sighed "Explain to me why we can't we help each other?"

Dean's breathing started to get quicker "Because friends don't jerk each others morning wood, Cas"

Cas withdrew his arm that had been softly cradling Dean's shoulder as he spoke in an increasingly stern manner "Friends don't cuddle each other and fall asleep on each other either as far as I know"

Dean tried not to feel disappointed at the loss of the warm hand that had been withdrawn but suddenly felt really defensive "Yeah, but that's part of the deal we made"

Cas let a huff of frustration out "Right" he lifted himself to a sitting position and unceremoniously flipped on his back.

Cas had his back to Dean "Well sorry for misinterpreting the situation then."

Dean felt weary about the turn this morning had taken "Cas, don't be a chick about this" 

Cas turned around with a confused frown looking like his former self "What do females have to do with this?"

Dean raised himself in his elbows "Like how women get all clingy after a small amount of intimacy"

Cas shook his head in disbelief "It's been my experience that men are exponentially more clingy after small intimacies than women"

Dean rolled his eyes "yeah but Cas the men you have sex with. . . They're not the manliest of men"

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean with what could only be described as wrath "Dean - let me tell you something" Cas said with anger rising in his voice "out of the 133 adults that have come through this camp, I've had sex with 102 of them-"

Dean interrupted Cas "Pfft, yeah Cas, camp slut isn't really something to brag about" Dean heard himself say the words but he was working on defensive auto pilot now.

Cas' eyes snapped up to Dean's and Dean shut up as Cas continued "Most people around here at first thought that I went around seducing people, but I don't, most people come to MY cabin knowing exactly what they want, you know why? Because it's the end of days and people have started to realise that sexuality is fluid and not some fucked up traditionalist idea that forbids people from expressing their sexuality in whatever way feels natural" Cas put his shoes on and headed for the door.

Dean tried to say something but his mind was blank static.

Cas opened the door and before he walked out he turned to look at Dean "Nearly everyone has grown up and accepted themselves, Dean . . . Everyone except you" and with that Cas slammed the door leaving Dean with his static thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for kudos and subscriptions, this was only meant to be a oneshot to shake my brain up for the Priest Cas fic I've got going on but now I'm invested and have screwed myself over with yet another fic. . . Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean admits things to himself, we learn more about chuck, Dean realises he's kind of a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things :  
> 1\. This fic has officially gotten more hits and kudos than my Priest fic which I've been working on for months . . . But I guess priest Cas has a pretty niche audience.  
> 2\. My version of Chuck in this fic is like if he was god's vessel not god himself (which would also explain why the samulet didn't point to him when they had been near him)  
> 3\. There's a scene somewhere in this chapter that was inspired by a scene in the wedding singer - whoever guesses it will have their name included in the fic somehow.  
> 4\. I call them Crotes. . . Why? Because It sounds like scrotes and that word Is hilarious to me (don't judge!)  
> 5\. Thank you to everyone who has subscribed and kudos'd - you are my favourites!

After Cas had left, Dean had angerbated to an extremely unsatifying orgasm. Who does Cas thinks he is? was the question angrily swimming in Dean's mind. What, so he's a human for 5 seconds and is now an expert in human sexuality? 

Dean angerbated again in the crude shower in his cabin until he was raw and sore and nowhere closer to being satisfied. Dean sighed and remembered that Cas had been around for Millenia and probably saw all sorts of shit go down including the evolution of sexuality and all the influences that had made it into what it was before the apocalypse. Not to mention that Cas was not influenced by the grade A parenting of John Winchester.

It was, however, easier to be angry at Cas than it was to look at his own fears and desires apparently. Dean sat on his bed flipping through the tired leather journal trying to distract himself with plans for the factory job before his day started.

He came across the doodle of Cas he had drawn the previous morning and couldn't help but stare at it. Dean had never been great at drawing but for some reason the image had every detail of Cas' face in the right places and the lines of Cas' jaw and nose in perfect proportion.

Dean sighed and admitted to himself for the first time that maybe . . . MAYBE he was attracted to Cas in a . . . More than a friend kind of way. But that didn't mean he liked men. . . He just liked Cas and wouldn't mind have Cas touch him. . . And wouldn't think it was a complete chore if Cas wanted Dean to touch him in return maybe? He thought about the other men at the camp and tried to work out if he thought anyone else was attractive but everyone else put Dean off. 

Yup definitely just Cas. . . So what did that say about him? Was it the angel thing? Anna came to mind but even that was a spare of the moment thing and he gave her up to the Angels almost immediately after. . . And then had turned on her as soon as Cas told him to. . . Granted she was trying to kill Sammy.

His mind had derailed so much that he barely noticed a small knock on his cabin door. 

When the knock came louder, Dean snapped out of his thought process. "Yeah, come in"

Chuck poked his head around the door "h-hey Dean, everything alright?" 

"Yeah why wouldn't it be?" Dean grunted as he closed his journal still reeling at the admittance he had just made to himself.

Chuck fiddled with the cabin door knob "Um we were supposed to check the camp perimeters about half an hour ago"

Dean looked at his watch and realised he'd been staring at his journal for almost an hour "Ah shit, let's go"

As they stepped out into crisp morning air Chuck kept looking at Dean uncertainly "Are you sure you're alright Dean?"

Dean scrunched up his face "Yeah Chuck, quit asking"

As Dean pulled his jacket collar up he looked at his always dishevelled friend - had Chuck slept with Cas? Was he one of the 102 Cas spoke of? "Chuck?"

"Y-yeah?" Chuck slipped his hands in his jacket pockets which for some reason made him look more dishevelled and kind of suspicious.

Dean thought for a second what information he actually wanted from Chuck. "How are . . . things with you?"

Chuck slowed down his fast walking he kept up when walking with Dean "Um, yeah good, I mean I have a crick in my neck that won't go away and the toilet paper situation has me really stressed-"

"Ok, yup, but how are you um . . . emotionally?" Dean interrupted but trying to sound casual.

Chuck came to a complete stop "E- emotionally?"

Dean turned back to look back at Chuck with as much innocence in his face as he could muster "Yeah like. . . How are you doing after the apocalypse? How are you feeling? D-do you Uh like someone in the camp . . . some hot young girl? Heh - hey, I hear that pepper is something else. . . Or um maybe some guy. . . ?" Dean didn't look at Chuck in the eye for the last bit.

"Is this a trick? Asked Chucked with a glassy expression. 

Dean snapped his eyes back at Chuck "What?"

Chuck's breathing quickened "Is this a trick? Oh god, are you gonna kill me?" Chuck's hands were in his own hair slightly pulling on it "Are you lulling me into a sense of security before you shoot me?"

Dean was so confused "What? No. . . I wouldn't! . . ." Chuck looked back at him with disbelief.

Dean sighed "Well I have, yes, but only when someone has been infected. . . To protect the camp!" he said rather defensively.

Chuck lowered his hands slowly "I-I'm not infected"

"Then I don't have to kill you" said in a slightly mocking voice.

This conversation was NOT going well.

Dean sighed again "I was honestly just asking out of interest" which was half true because despite wanting to know who close to him had been with Cas, he was also realising how much of a shitty friend he had been.

Chuck's eyes widened a little in surprise "Oh um ok. . . " Chuck's breathed a sigh of relief "in that case I haven't really Uh there's been no one recently"

Dean was inwardly relieved,

Chuck continued looking down at the ground "well there was someone a few months ago. . . "

Dean's body tensed but he pasted a smile on his face anyway "Ah, see, now we're getting somewhere . . . Girl? Boy?"

"Uh . . .girl"

Relief flooded Dean again "Good good. . . " 

Chuck started to bite his nails as he spoke the next bit "But she wanted me to Uh do stuff with her and another guy"

Oh here we go, enter Cas : sexually curios and curiously sexy angel of the lord, thought Dean but managed to respond evenly "Uh huh. . . Right. And . . . Did you?"

Chuck finally met Dean's eyes "Um no, I don't really have the confidence for threesomes" he said like if it was obvious which In a way Dean thought it was. 

"Right. . . Right" Dean rubbed the back of his neck feeling like he had just been on an emotional roller coaster.

Chuck was radiating uncomfortability as he asked "Is this about Cas?"

Dean choked on air "What? No! What?. . .uh Why? W-was Cas the threesome guy?

Chuck looked at him for a second "No. I just thought because he was all like lucid and commandy at the meeting I thought maybe you were helping him turn back to the old Cas and warning his regular. . . Uh partners"

Dean thought that seemed plausible "Oh. . . no, he. . . We made a deal where he'll be sober at meetings for a while"

"Oh right" after a minute or so Chuck then asked "what does he get?"

"Whadyou mean?" 

"If you made a deal and he has to be sober - what do you have to do?" Chuck asked innocently.

Dean's face flushed "Uh nothing, just ah. . . Nothing. It's nothing. Let's go check the perimeters."

Another thought occurred to dean before they continued "chuck, did you really think I was going to kill you?"

Chuck's cheeks flushed and he hunched in on himself "For a second, yeah"

Dean raised his eyebrows "Wow, how much of a dick do people think I am?"

"Enough of a dick to be a good leader" Chuck's eyes widened as he realised what he had said. He turned to Dean obviously scared by the reaction he was going to get.

Dean let out a soft surprised Chuckle and Chuck smiled sheepishly back at him as they tested the fence perimeters.

Checking the perimeters with chuck was actually not that bad - it kept Dean distracted as Chuck rambled about the threesome girl which through deduction, Dean had narrowed down to be the other chick on the council besides Rheesa. Her name was Jane and apparently she was heavily into some femdom activitities which explained why she had started seeing the fairly submissive Chuck.

Chuck was no longer receiving messages from the big office upstairs . . . Probably because there wasn't a big office to receive messages from anymore. Dean had thought that chuck would become calmer as the weight of being a prophet was lifted but soon came to realise that the fast talking and the nervous fidgeting was actually part of his personality.

Once the perimeter check was completed, Dean headed to the cabin they used as an infirmary, he did his rounds checking that people didn't show signs of turning and stopped to talk with Dr Ray who Dean had a 'thing' with when they had first moved into the camp. It was inevitable for people to get involved with the same people considering how long they'd been surviving in close quarters.

Then it hit Dean like a ton of bricks - he counted approx 25 people in the infirmary cabin, it would stand to reason that at the very least 1 person in this room had, had sex with Cas. 

Dean's stomach turned.

He wasn't entirely sure why the thought of that made him sick, maybe because only this morning he had admitted to himself that he was at the very least attracted to Cas. . . 

Dr Ray stood in front of Dean with a confused look on her face "what's wrong with you?"

Dean straightened his back and let a hard expression take over his face "Nothing, why do people keep asking me that?"

She shrugged and turned her focus back to organising supplies "Because you look worried which is not a good look for a leader to have"

Dean hardened his face even more "I'm fine, just haven't been sleeping great" 

Dr Ray narrowed her eyes "Ah yes, Pepper, I heard" she spat out with school girl venom. "It's none of my business what you do, Dean, you could fuck everyone in this camp like your buddy Cas and i still wouldn't care" 

Dean was so done with her weird girly shut "Just. . . Let's see the reports"

Dean wasn't even looking at the reports all he could think about was Dr Rays comments - she sounded bitter when she mentioned Cas but that could have been directed more at Dean but then why bring up Cas? I mean everyone knows that Cas was the go to guy for orgies so for analogy purposes, it made sense to use Cas as an example. Dean's head started to throb. He closed the unread reports and said thank you and goodbye to Dr Ray.

Dr Ray only lifted her eyebrows and lifted her hand in a shooing motion which Dean thought was one of her friendlier goodbyes. He'd put her in the 'maybe slept with Cas' pile that he most definitely was not making in his head.

The rest of the day passed with Dean cleaning weapons and showing his face at the defence classes they held regularly for survivors. Jane was teaching the newbies how to disarm a crote using only found objects. While one of the new guys was trying to disarm another newbie with a stick, Jane went over to Dean to discuss the possibility of another meeting the following morning. Apparently Cas' ideas about the factory run had sparked the imagination of the other leaders and they wanted to share their ideas with the small council. Dean was trying really hard not to imagine the muscly woman in front of him pegging little submissive Chuck but his brain kept unhelpfully providing detailed suggestions of how that scenario would play out. 

Dean agreed to holding another meeting the following morning and Jane hesitated before asking if Sober Cas was going to make another appearance to which Dean just shrugged and made a 'your guess is as good as mine face' to as he walked out of the training space. He wondered if she had asked about Cas because she was impressed with his performance the night before or if she was impressed with another kind of performance she had been privy to. 

Maybe pile for Jane.

On his way back to his cabin for the night he took a detour that went by Cas' Cabin. He wasn't sure what he was going to say or even if he was ready to talk to him after their 'fight' that morning, even worse was the thought that Cas wouldn't want to talk with him and would kick him out.

Dean swallowed his indecision and walked towards the small porch leading up to the beads that were actually Cas' stupid hippie door.

Just as he was a few steps away from the entrance, Pepper walked out in the same red dress she was wearing the other night.

"Oh hi there, stud"

Dean's stomach churned painfully "Hi" even Dean heard how clipped he sounded.

She smiled at him in a way that on anyone else would have been sweet but on her seemed lewd "Cas is asleep" she lowered her voice "rough day" she almost whispered,

She lit a cigarette and leant on the doorframe in a stance that he knew was to entice Dean by elongating her body and puffing out her chest.

"Did you want me to tell him something when he wakes?" She punctuated the sentence with that annoying smile.

Dean wasn't in the mood for playing games with her "No. Just let him know there's a meeting tomorrow morning at 8am sharp"

"Oh! One of your special secret club meetings? How does one get invited to something so VIP?" Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Dean rolled his eyes purposefully not hiding his disdain for the blonde Harlot standing before him "Just tell Cas to be there. . . Sober"

She lifted her hand up to her forehead in a mock salute "Will do commander" she lowered her arm to lean back on the door frame again "that is, if I remember" she put her hand to the side of her mouth as if she was about to tell Dean a big secret "We tend to get a little distracted, when we're together" she whispered.

Dean turned around and stormed off trying to ignore the churning in his stomach because so help him if he was going to be jealous about some GUY that Dean had only that very morning even admitted that he maybe kinda sort of liked.

'He's not just some guy. . . He's Cas and he should be mine' was Dean's last thought as the alcohol clouded his brain over an hour later in his cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed, please subscribe, kudos or comment. (There is definitely more cuddling coming up <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much angst and jealous Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short because I had to split it - next chapter is cuddle city though.

Dean's dreams were a swirl of blood and teeth and fangs and black eyes - his brain too drunk to give him any definitive forms but not drunk enough to black out entirely.

When he opened his eyes again he was on semi polished floorboards. His eyes felt like they were stuck together and his throat and mouth had basically been replaced with sandpaper if how much it hurt to swallow was any indicator. 

He lifted his arm near his chest to push himself up and he heard, then saw an empty liquor bottle roll away from his body.

Dean let himself slump down with a groan. 

Dry mouth + sleeping on the floor + empty liquor bottle did not bode well for Dean's mental state the previous night.

He sat up slowly only moving when his brain stopped feeling like it was being shaken in a jar. 

Dean realised that one step further and he would have made it to his bed instead of feeling all stiff from sleeping on the floor. 

He leant back on the side of the bed and sighed heavily before he realised he had a balled up piece of paper in one of his hands. 

He uncrumpled the paper to find the page from his journal with the drawing of Cas. In his own writing above the drawing were the bold words "CUDDLE CAS, BE A BETTER FRIEND AND AND STOP BEING A DICK".

Wow drunk Dean was pretty blunt, thought Dean as he stroked the piece of paper flat on his nightstand.

He got up and sat on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands feeling like an idiot for drinking himself stupid over . . . If Dean was honest to himself - over Cas fucking Pepper. 

In another time - Dean might have tried to convince himself that he was into Pepper to explain away the jealous feelings. However after admitting his attraction to Cas - he knew all too well that his possessiveness was of Cas. 

He thought about waking up entangled with Cas the morning before and what would have happened if Dean had just. . . What? What was he supposed to do? Dean's inexperience with guy sex suddenly made him very frustrated. Was guy sex even the term? Gay sex? Wouldn't gay sex imply that he was gay? Dean figured this way of thinking was what Cas got so riled up about the other morning coupled with multiple conversations they'd had in the past about Dean needing to label everything and everyone.

Dean had a shower before the meeting; deciding not to masturbate not knowing exactly how much time he had - which did not help his frustrations. 

He would say this much for the years of being a hunter - the time had made his body acclimatise to the fact that he had no tolerance for hangovers. By the time he had put his boots on - he was feeling almost like himself again if not more angry and sexually frustrated than normal.

He looked at his watch - shit he was already 5 minutes late to the meeting. He ran out of his room and walked at a fast pace towards the cabin the meeting was going to be held in. He purposefully didn't run learning early on in his leadership that people tended to freak out if they saw their leader frantic and dishevelled.

He had a stray thought earlier that he would go to Cas' cabin before the meeting to talk and maybe cuddle? Dean shook his head and wondered when he had become such a cuddle whore.

He calmed himself with the thought that he was going to see Cas at the meeting in a few minutes anyway. The thought made Dean unconsciously run a hand through his hair suddenly self conscious of his appearance. Dean rolled his eyes at his sudden schoolgirl attack.

He took a deep breath and bolted up the 4 steps to the meeting and started talking before checking who was in the room "alright let's get started - so you all wanted this meeting, what are these new ideas you wanted to discuss " Dean sat down at the small table where the 4 other council members and Chuck sat and noticed the glaring absence of a certain dark haired ex angel but kept his face expressionless. 

There was a brief silence before Jane frowned "where's Cas?"

Without skipping a beat Dean looked at Jane "he's not here, we've had meetings without Cas before" Dean said still expressionless.

Dean stood up "where do we stand on how many people we'll need for this factory job?" 

The meeting from there ran more or less smoothly except for a few comments from the other leaders mentioning that it might be a good idea to get 'sober Cas' to look over the new plans. Dean caught a few fidgeted movements from Chuck at the mention of sober Cas knowing his nervous friend had obviously let the other leaders in on at least part of what was going on.

Dean had held things together pretty well considering he was boiling over with frustration, jealousy and anger. Thinking back to two mornings ago when all he had said was that friends don't jack each other off and yet Cas had reacted like. . . Like. . . Like-

"Dean!" An angry voice said.

"What?!" Dean growled back to the voice which he had recognised as Rheesa's.

"The factory tomorrow?" Rheesa said a little uncertain after Dean's outburst.

"Y-yeah tomorrow night" Dean cleared his throat regaining some control of himself and the meeting "we'll run a supply check tomorrow morning to make sure we have everything and to see what we need to keep a look out for once we're out there. . . Meeting dismissed"

The end of this meeting was very different to the end of the last meeting - everyone became somber and reflective and nervous. Which was normal considering the high risk of losing people on any run.

Dean didn't say anything and just left - he headed straight to Cas' cabin.

Dean mentally prepared himself for the imagery that might be waiting for him at Cas' cabin - A writhing orgy maybe? Or worse - Cas and Pepper going at it. . . Or worse still - Cas and Pepper cuddling, Dean nearly tripped over at the thought, when had he become so possessive over someone that wasn't even his?

He managed to hold back the bile that had gathered in his throat as he hesitantly stepped through the hippy beads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Internal turmoil as to whether there should be smut or not. . . Maybe a little bit? 
> 
> We'll see what my brain decides last minute. Next chapter will hopefully be up in a few hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusion between Dean and Cas (because it wouldn't be a destiel fic without confusion and miscommunication) and then some hardcore cuddling.

Dean chose to tackle the situation like he did the meeting - start shouting before he knew who was in the room "Cas, we had a deal!"

He was surprised and let's be honest, relieved that it was only Cas in his bed face down.

"Wake up Castiel!" Dean sat on Cas' bed with a purposeful thump that shook the whole mattress.

There was a groan from underneath a pillow "Why are you yelling?" Castiel dragged his face out from under the pillow and squinted at the now slightly amused Dean "What time is it?" He croaked out.

Dean hid his affectionate amusement at Cas' squinty face and delved right into what he wanted to say "We had a deal Cas, you come to meetings sober and I. . ." Dean hesitated with the word 'cuddle' "I . . . Have been holding up my end of the bargain. But instead of going to today's scheduled meeting I find you passed out after a night of fucking and God knows what else" Dean stopped talking when he heard himself sound like a nagging wife.

Cas stretched his hands behind his back in a twisty way that no human should be able to do outside of yoga porn. He then yawned without covering his mouth as he spoke "I highly doubt my father knows anything I do" Cas turned to face Dean with a blank expression "Plus, not that it's any of your business but I wasn't fucking anyone last night"

Dean couldn't stop his mouth "Oh please! I came to tell you about the meeting and Pepper came out practically glowing"

Cas looked up again in a confused squint "Who's Pepper? Is. . . Is that a person?"

Dean brightened at the fact that Cas agreed she had a stupid name "That's what I sa-" Dean remembered he was supposed to be angry "Yes, she's a slutty blonde chick that you've banged at least twice that I know of"

Cas seemed genuinely surprised and raised an eyebrow "Keeping tabs are we?" He said in a sleep husked voice.

Dean felt his face flush "N-no, she just has a big mouth"

Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean again "Like literally?"

A jolt of jealousy passed through Dean at Cas' interest "No Cas, like the whole camp knows after she's slept with someone"

Cas lifted himself up on his elbows and his voice turned icy "Oh I heard about her, is that the girl that's moving in with you?"

Dean was confused by Cas' sudden change in mood "No. Well yes. . . " Cas snapped his face to Dean's "No - she's not moving in with me. Yes - she's been saying that around the camp" Dean groaned and wiped his face, why was it so hot all of a sudden? "We're so off topic right now"

Cas rolled himself over to his side and leant on his arm "Well, whoever that girl is - she definitely wasn't here and I definitely didn't fuck her. So you can stop with the macho jealous shit and let me sleep"

Dean winced at the mention of jealousy not knowing if Cas meant that he was jealous of Pepper or Cas "So she didn't tell you about the meeting?"

Cas rolled his eyes "I don't even know who she is!" He threw his hands in the air in frustration.

Dean wasn't quite sure what was going on, Cas wasn't particularly a liar and when he had attempted to lie he had been incredibly bad at it "Were you ridiculously high last night?"

Cas' eyes glazed over in thought "Not . . . ridiculously so, no . . . I think I Fell asleep early though"

Dean was still confused but relieved somehow "So you had no idea there was a meeting this morning?"

Cas shrugged as he scratched his torso and inadvertently undid a button "Not a clue. . . Although granted even if I had known I probably wouldn't have gone"

Dean's eyes had unconsciously slid down to the bare skin showing beyond the undone button "And why's that?" He asked not really paying attention.

Cas continued "Because the deal is that I go to meetings sober, right? . . Dean looked up at Cas and nodded his head hoping his friend hadn't noticed the ogling. Cas tilted his head in confusion but kept speaking "Well, If I would have gone to the meeting I would have inadvertently broken our deal. . . because I'm still high as fuck" Cas shivered and groaned as if to punctuate his statement.

"Why are you shivering?" Dean instinctively placed the back of his palm on Cas' forehead like how he used to do with Sam when they were little. Cas' skin was clammy and feverishly hot.

"Cas, you're sick!" Dean definitely didn't squeal. . . He would maintain that it had been a manly yelp.

Genuine surprise spread across Cas' face again "Really? I thought it was just a bad trip"

Dean felt panic at the back of his mind "Shit Cas, I don't know if we have any antibiotics in supply but we're going on the factory run tomorrow so I'll make sure we hit a pharmacy-"

"Dean it's ok" Cas reached out to Dean letting his hand fall to Dean's thigh in what was supposed to be a calming touch but had a very different reaction in Dean. Cas closed his eyes "I think I can fix this"

Dean felt a familiar electricity in the air that he had always associated with Cas as an angel "Cas, c-can you still heal?"

Castiel had his eyes closed but had left his hand on Dean's thigh "A little bit, only inwardly and only minor things. No broken bones or anything but I healed a paper cut a couple of weeks ago which was good because those things hurt like a mother bitch"

Dean let himself smile widely - knowing Cas had his eyes closed.

The electricity left the room suddenly as if it had never been there. Cas groaned again.

"What happened?" Dean asked as he leaned in unintentionally but kind of intentionally getting Cas to slide his hand further up Dean's thigh.

"I can only do bits at a time and it makes me tired" Cas' eyes opened and he looked at his hand on Dean's thigh for a moment.

"Dean. . .Would you be willing to cuddle. . . For um healing purposes of course" Cas looked at Dean shyly which made Dean's breath hitch slightly.

Dean knew it was a flimsy excuse but he couldn't stop himself from agreeing "Well if it's for healing purposes" Dean tried to not seem too eager and stretched himself out next to Cas. "How did you want to. . .?"

Cas shuffled over and closed the space between them in the same position they had been the first time they had cuddled Cas even hooked a leg over Dean's leg right off the bat.

Dean closed his eyes trying to think unsexy thoughts.

There was s huff on his chest as Cas grumbled "Dean, you've tensed up"

"Yeah. . . How about a different Uh" Dean wanted to avoid the word 'position' at all costs. "Is there a different way I mean because weve already done this one. . . "

Cas looked up at Dean and Dean raised his eyebrows as he looked down at Cas.

Cas thought for a second "the only other position I can think of is the one you said you didn't want to do . . . Spoony?"

Dean chuckled "spoon-ING Cas And Uh we can try that if you want. . . Y'know if it'll make you feel better" Dean's brain was screaming ABORT ABORT but Dean ignored it.

"It will" nodded Cas eagerly 

"Ok um which spoon do you want to be?" Dean asked.

Cas stared at him wide eyed obviously baffled by the question.

"Like, do you want to be the person that hugs or the person that Uh. . ." don't say receives don't say receives Dean chanted in his head.

"I don't know. . . What's your preference?"

Dean thought about it carefully "Well, I've only ever been with chicks so I'm usually the big spoon"

Cas frowned "Are women not allowed to be the big spoon?"

"It's not that they're not allowed but it just gets kind of weird - it ends up feeling like when spider monkeys have tiny spider monkeys hanging off them, yknow?"

"I like spider monkeys very much" Cas' voice sounded so much like angel Cas that Dean instinctually tightened his arm around Cas' shoulders. Cas hugged Dean's stomach a little tighter - Dean wasn't sure if it was reactive or if Cas had felt the nostalgia as well.

"So how would two men spoon?" Asked Cas as he slightly nuzzled Dean's chest.

Dean was having a hard time concentrating after the chest nuzzling "Well, uh we're fairly similar in height so um I guess it could go either way?"

Cas hummed softly "Hmm how about you get me from behind"

Dean tensed up completely "C-cas don't . . . D-don't say it like that. . ."

Cas lifted his head from Dean's chest and tilted his head "Why?"

Dean had to look away and swallow hard "Just don't, say instead that you want to be the little spoon"

Cas looked at Dean and realisation slowly softened his face and there was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes "Dean, get me from behind" Cas said in a lower gravellier voice than normal.

Dean's heart quickened and without meaning to - he growled at Cas "turn over"

A slow smile spread over Cas' face and then he rolled onto his side.

With Cas' back to him, Dean had a few seconds to compose himself, what the hell was that growl about?? And why had he agreed to spooning? If he could barely handle a cuddly leg before he popped a boner what was gonna happen if he spooned Cas?

Dean's thoughts were interrupted by Cas peering over his own shoulder "well?" his blue eyes showing no signs of the mischief from less than a minute ago.

Dean slowly curved his body around Cas' taking extra care to not connect his heated groin to Cas' ass. Cas grabbed Dean's arm and wrapped it around himself over his stomach and then wiggled back so that if they were sitting upright, he would be sitting on Dean's lap. A small gasp escaped Dean's mouth as Cas wrapped his hand around Dean's.

Even through multiple layers of clothing Dean felt the heat radiating from Cas' skin. Cas sighed contently as they settled into a comfortable silence.

It was out of pure will power that Dean wasn't fully hard but he was genuinely enjoying the intimacy without the pressure of sex. That is until he felt Cas inching their entangled hands down his own abdomen.

Dean at first thought he was imagining it until the outer edge of his pinky tapped the waistband of Cas' sweatpants.

A huge part of Dean was terrified and telling him to get up and run, that he shouldn't want to do this but an even larger part of him was extremely excited and telling him to slide his hand that little bit lower.

A small breathy moan escaped Dean's lips as he lightly traced the outline of Cas' hardened cock over his sweatpants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to give the whole "to smut or not to smut" spiel but who am I kidding? Right? Totally smutting.
> 
> There will be another couple of chapters to this fic and then I will make it into a series (including the actual factory run and also something else that I've been building in the background of this fic)
> 
> Thank you for your kudos and subscriptions! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi Sexy times and the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would recommend you probably read the last few paragraphs of the last chapter to get a build up instead of BAM! SEXY TIMES. . . Unless you're into that.
> 
> Also - I've hit the 50,000 words mark with my 3 fics! Woot!

Cas hissed and bucked back on to Dean who had somehow become hard in a timeframe that had to be some kind of record.

Dean kept tracing fingers lightly at the front of Cas' pants - still not completely sure what he was going to do or what he was supposed to do.

Cas was suddenly making small thrusts that were connecting up to Dean's hand. Dean reactively applied more pressure and found himself stroking Cas' cock through his thin pants in a maddening slow fashion.

Dean's first impression was that Cas' cock felt like it was impossibly long and fat but then again he didn't really have anything else to compare it to . . .except his own and he was so used to touching himself he wasn't really aware of dimensions anymore.

Dean's second impression was that Cas was definitely a moaner - none of that fake stuff either, Cas made the damned sexiest sex noises Dean had ever heard. Without thinking, Dean snaked his hand under Cas and brought his arm up to wrap around the front of Cas' shoulders simply so he could lean his head closer to the sinful sounds being generated by the ex angel of the lord.

Cas suddenly let go of Dean's arm and swung it back to grab at Dean's ass both squeezing and pulling him closer. 

Dean's body seemed to be pretty sure of what it was doing even if Dean's mind wasn't 100% because as soon as he had Cas' ass pressed up to his erection Dean started to rut into it like a horny teenager. Dean smirked, only then realising that Cas wasn't wearing any underwear.

The only sounds filling the room were Cas' enthusiastic moans, Dean's grunting and the slide of fabric.

And then in between moans and erratic breathing Cas groaned out "Dean I need you"

Dean pressed his chin into the curve of Cas neck "I've got you" Dean was surprised at the breathlessness of his own voice as he picked up the pace in stroking Cas.

"No Dean. . . Ah. . I mean, I need you . . . Inside" Dean felt Cas reach back and expertly undo the top button of Dean's pants.

Cas' gravelly moans we're going straight to Dean's dick but he slowed his ministrations on Cas' groin and completely stopped rutting when he realised what Cas had said.

Cas tensed up and looked over his shoulder "Dean?"

Dean leant his forehead on the back of Cas' neck - at complete war with himself. After a minute he managed to speak through gritted teeth "Cas . . . I can't. . . I can't do . . .that"

As if anticipating Dean's oncoming panic attack Cas entangled his fingers through Dean's again and slowly increased the speed of their hands on Cas' cock "it's ok Dean, we don't have to do. . .that. . . Ungh. . . Just please don't stop ah"

Dean had been close before but the coiling had ebbed at the mention of something Dean wasn't ready for. 

As Cas' moans and breathing became heavy again and Dean felt the Cas' cock in his hand twitching through the fabric, Dean pulled Cas closer to himself with a growl in Cas' ear. 

"I'm close Dean, ungh - you have me so close" Cas moaned out with a tight voice.

Dean felt the head of his cock rub up over the undone button and the new friction felt amazing as it left a trail of Precome up and down the valley of Cas's ass.

The coil in Dean's abdomen was so tight he felt like if his whole body was going to explode. He held Cas close as his rutting became erratic and increased the speed of his hand on Cas' now wet through the fabric cock and grunted in Cas' ear "Come for me Angel".

Dean heard Cas inhale deeply and then let out a loud groan as his cock twitched and the fabric that barely covered it got even more slippery.

Dean thrust forward a few more times before he spurted three thick lines and a few extra dribbles of come up the back of Cas' shirt. 

Dean was still breathing heavily as Cas' breathing had started to stabilise.

His senses started to return as the lust fog had lifted from his mind. He moved his hand away from the drying stickiness of Cas' groin. The osudden need to run was pumping through Dean when he realised his other arm was under Cas' head. 

Dean rolled onto his back, leaving his arm under Cas for a moment as he tried not to freak out.

"You're freaking out aren't you?" Cas rumbled with his back to Dean.

Dean felt his eyes dart around the room seeing if Cas had mirrors somewhere where he could see Dean freaking out "No. . . No I'm not, I'm still here aren't I?"

Cas sighed "I think the only reason you're still here is because of this" Cas started stroking Dean's hand that Dean guessed was must have been infront of Cas' face.

Although the hand stroking was soothing him a bit, Dean felt like he wouldn't get out of the situation without at least a small amount of honesty "It's . . .overwhelming and my instinct is to . . .run"

Cas kept stroking Dean's hand and as he spoke, Dean could feel Cas' breath on his fingers "Stay. . . Not to cuddle, not to talk about this just . . . Stay. . . Let's. . . talk about something else"

Dean swiped is free hand over his face trying to fight back the panic "Cas it's a pretty big elephant in the room to ignore"

Cas made a tiny chuckling noise "I'll take that as a compliment but I understand your meaning. . . Here, let me start; you said the supply run has been moved to tomorrow - why?"

Dean closed his eyes and tried to focus on the question "Y-yeah. . . We're going tomorrow night, we've found that the Crotes aren't able to see very well in the dark, we've had multiple reports of people escaping them at night through misdirection with lights. . . " Cas made a small humming noise that Dean took as sign to keep talking "Also, the weather is due to change and it's going to start pouring down which might help disguise our scents"

Dean let his eyes close again and a wave of sleepiness filtered through him ". . . the other council members wanted to run some plans with you before we leave. . . If you Uh have time?"

Cas' response came almost instantly but sounded as sleepy as Dean felt "Yes of course"

Dean looked at Cas who had not moved from the position they had been in when. . . Dean's eyes widened when he looked at Cas' back "Ah shit, Cas, I got . . .stuff on the back of your shirt"

Cas still didn't move "Yeah I can feel it drying. . . " Cas tensed up "Dean . . . if I get up to change my shirt, do you promise you won't run?"

Dean sighed "Yeah Cas" he felt he owed Cas at least that much.

Cas got up slowly and unbuttoned his shirt, let it fall to the ground and replaced it with another almost identical white tunic-like shirt and then started sliding his pants down.

"Woah Cas!" Dean squawked.

Cas almost whined "They're sticky"

Dean stared at Cas for a moment until Cas rolled his eyes "I'll go change in the bathroom"

When the door to Cas' bathroom closed, Dean got up like a shot and was nearly at the door when a wave of guilt hit him. He couldn't do this to Cas - so what if they'd gotten each other off a little bit, it didn't have to mean anything. Cas had sex with everyone all the time. Dean himself had gone through most of the women at the camp. . . It was more surprising that they hadn't done this earlier really. . . Maybe.

Dean's internal pep talk was interrupted by a bulky blonde guy walking through the beads of Cas' cabin. 

Dean's stomach flipped at the fact that without a proper door, anyone walking past the cabin would have heard their sex noises.

"Cas are you- oh hey Dean" the blonde guy said with a slight European accent Dean couldn't place.

Dean squinted at the guy standing in front of him, trying to remember his name "oh hi. . . Eric. . . "

Dean seemed to have got it right because the guy gave him a quick smile "Is Cas around?" Eric's eyes flicked down at Dean's crotch and then back up.

"He's in the bathroom" Dean looked at the door Cas had disappeared through and buttoned up his pants which he had only remembered because of Eric's lack of poker face.

Eric's eyes looked at the door and then snapped to Dean and then looked down at the floor "Oh. . . "

Dean couldn't help but feel sorry for him for no apparent reason "He shouldn't be long, if you wanted to wait"

Eric had already started moving towards the door beads "Um no, that's ok - I'll come back later" and then he was gone.

Realisation hit Dean like a punch in the gut - Eric had come to see Cas for either drugs or sex. . . Or both.

Cas came out of the bathroom in runners shorts and Dean's groin gave a twitch - which was ridiculous considering Dean was in his mid 30s and shouldn't be ready to go again so soon. 

Dean had to tell himself and his nether regions to behave and focus "Cas, Eric came to visit you" Dean tried to keep his voice as casual as possible.

"Oh?" Cas said with only the slightest interest in his voice "Which Eric?"

Dean was suddenly really frustrated "I dunno, man, he was blonde"

Cas raised an eyebrow "Ah blonde Eric" he said in a slightly mocking tone.

Dean eyed the door wanting to escape the increasingly passive aggressive conversation "yeah, he didn't seem to want to stay though. . . "

Cas looked at Dean with a smirk as he brought a tumbler of liquid out of nowhere up to his lips "No I suppose he wouldn't" 

Dean knew he should get out of there before he said something stupid but without permission - his mouth opened "I suppose you'll get what I couldn't provide. . ."

"Hmm?" Cas seemed like he had been lost in thought.

Dean stupidly went on "Y'know, when blonde Eric comes back"

Cas snapped out of his thoughts and an unreadable expression took over his face "Oh, you're making the assumption that blonde Eric was here to fuck me"

"Well Uh wasn't he?" Dean's voice came out more accusatory than he intended.

Cas narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, not in confusion but incredulously "No. . ." Cas' face became blank and unreadable again   
"Mainly because I'm the one that does the fucking when it comes to blonde Eric" he took a sip of his liquor and didn't make eye contact with Dean.

Dean felt a growl in his throat that he just barely managed to keep down. "I really do have a lot of stuff to do today what with the factory thing happening tomorrow. . . so I'm gonna go" Dean's voice barely his the bitterness he was feeling.

"Of course you are" Cas said still too seemingly interested in his liquor to look up.

Dean felt his face finally slip into a stony familiarity "Yup"

Dean kept his composure and didn't look back at Cas as he walked through the beads. When the fresh air hit his face, he breathed in deep and picked up a brisk pace to his cabin. 

A few people tried to stop him on the way but he gave half assed excuses and promises of catching up with them later. 

When he finally reached his cabin - he locked his door. He then downed 2 tumblers of whiskey and buried himself in his bed - despite it being midday all he wanted was to sleep. 

Dean desperately tried not to let his hand wander down to his cock thinking about Cas' moans but mostly he tried to keep down the rage and jealousy at the thought of Cas probably fucking Blonde Eric at that very moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah the Ol' "passive aggressive conversations after you give your bestie a handy but can't bring yourself to accept that you actually dig them more than you let on"
> 
> Thank you for your kudos, subs and comments! One more chapter to go of Cuddle Negotiations but there'll be more in the series xox


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The catalyst for Dean's denial.
> 
> Dean deals with his thoughts in the aftermath of sexy cuddles with Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra long chapter in apology for the lack of updates.

Everything was dark and then suddenly Dean looked down at the table he was apparently sitting at : he was looking at . . . No, it couldn't be. It wasn't possible. But there it was. A beautifully proportioned double beef and bacon burger. Why hadn't he eaten one of these miracles in so long?? 

Before Dean attacked the enticing heart attack in front of him he had a strange sense that something was very wrong. Dean realised he was sitting at a diner, he scanned the room recognizing his surroundings as somewhere he had been before.

The usual sounds of a generic small town diner enveloped Dean as he closed his eyes relishing in every clang of cutlery, every inane conversation every ring of a bell. No screams, no crying, no pleads for help - which had become the usual for Dean to hear when he wasn't at the camp. Dean prepared his olfactory senses for the delicious smells . . . But he couldn't smell anything, no salty or greasy or sickingly sweet scents attacking his nose. 

Dean looked around the room and couldn't make out anybody's face. It wasn't until his father came out of the men's room a second later that he realised he was dreaming.

John winchester had sat down in the booth across from Dean in his usual gruff and heavy manner. John's face however was much angrier and hard than usual and suddenly Dean remembered what night this was. 

As if on cue, 2 young boys came out of the men's room and sat in the booth next to Dean and John, unsubtetly squeezing each others hands and giggling.

John snorted in disgust but picked up his journal and flipped through it roughly.

Dean remembered he was about 15 years old when this night had occurred - they were hunting a werewolf that in hindsight was probably a shifter but either way silver had done the trick eventually.

Dean heard the boys in the booth next to him giggle again and Johns eyes shot up with venom. 

"Dean go back to motel" John growled as his eyes never left the giggling boys.

"But my burg-" Dean started to complain in a teenage whine.

"DEAN go back to the motel" John almost shouted.

Dean's shoulders slumped "Yes sir".

Dean lifted himself out of the booth and trudged to the door, looking back once to see his father talking to the giggling boys.

Dean didn't really think much of it and walked across the street to their motel room. Sammy was already asleep, huddled in the corner of a single bed. Dean went to stroke his younger brothers hair for a few seconds and then sat down on the uncomfortable armchair and watched an old monster movie while eating stale snacks from the motel mini bar.

After about 20 minutes John walked in and headed straight for the icebox and proceeded to put ice on his bloodied hand without saying a word.

Dean slowly got up from the armchair "dad, what happened? Was it the were?"

"No. Just. . . Get the first aid kit" growled John as he took a long drink of a liquor bottle.

Dean obediently started to patch his grumbling father up at the small kitchen table.

"Did you see those two men at the diner?" John rumbled suddenly.

Dean stopped taping the gauze down as all the dots started to connect "Dad! What did. . .Are they. . .?" Dean couldn't even finish his sentences from the terror of what John might have done.

John grabbed the gauze and tape from Dean and finished patching his hand up as he looked at Dean with a hardness in his eyes "They're alive, but they'll think twice before they flounce about again".

Dean swallowed hard. This lesson wasn't just for that poor couple - John was indirectly teaching Dean a lesson which meant . . . Which meant john had noticed when Dean had been flirting with Peter the previous week.

Peter was the son of another hunter they had run into on their last case. Dean hadn't meant to flirt, he wasn't even really sure if that's what he was doing but Peter was 17 and deep voiced and although not attractive as such, he was charming as hell and had made Dean become all giggly and blushy.

Dean remembered the look that John had given him that day - angry, disappointed and maybe a little sad - it was the same look that he gave him as Dean cleaned the other bloody fist that had been used to hurt two innocent people in love. Dean remembered that as the exact moment he began to bury any sort of sexual interest for men. 

The lines around the motel room blurred and then Dean's consciousness plunged into darkness once more.

***

After sleeping for a few hours, catching up with people he had dodged earlier and taking supply stock with chuck, Dean had started to feel more like himself than he had for a few days.

Mainly because he was flat out ignoring the parts of his brain that wanted to think about a certain scruffy ex seraph. Whenever his mind would start drifting - Dean would determinedly think about something else or ask someone around him an unnecessary question. 

"Do we have a list of the people that are going on the run tomorrow?" He asked Chuck while updating the supply inventory.

Chuck looked at Dean uncertainly "Um yeah. . . You Uh asked me that about 10 minutes ago and I gave you the list" Chuck pointed to the desk where Dean was sitting and as if by magic, he found the list right next to his left hand.

Dean grunted in a non committed way looking down at the list of people Jane had managed to round up mainly from the self defence classes. Dean was about to take a drink out of his mug of whiskey when a name from the list jumped out at him and made his blood boil.

"Which Eric?" Dean's voice vibrated in the otherwise quiet room.

Chuck's eyes widened "Um what?"

"Which Eric is going on the run?" Dean said calmer but still tense.

Chuck's confusion was palpable "Um there's. . .  only one uh Eric . . .within the camp?"

"Is he blonde, tall and speaks with a stupid accent?" Dean asked Chuck but did not let his eyes leave the name like if he could erase it with his mind if he looked at it hard enough.

"Y-yeah I uh guess that's an accurate description" Chuck glanced at Dean with a nervous raised eyebrow.

Dean felt childish for what he was about to say but he couldn't help it "He can't come"

Chuck's eyes widened in confusion "Ok. . . Um he was kinda one of the few volunteers we had so um I mean if you don't want him to go we can take him off the list but Uh. . . He's a good fighter according to Jane and . . . Um But . . . but Uh I can go tell him now he won't be needed tomorrow. . . if you want"

Dean released a massive sigh that felt like it came from his very bones "naw Chuck, if he's as good as you say he is - we might need him"

Chuck's back straightened "I didn't say that"

Dean felt his forehead furrow "What?"

Chuck began fidgeting in his seat "I didn't say he was good. . ." The ex prophet somehow seemed even more uncomfortable than usual "He's a good fighter and he's strong but he's not a good guy. . ."

Dean leaned back in his chair "Go on"

"Um . . . Ok. . . he Uh came from money before the apocalypse so he can be a bit of a brat when we have to ration food and supplies for whatever reason. He um thinks he's charming but he comes across as sleazy to the women and men he hits on - he Uh seems to always have new things which makes me think he has a secret stash of things somewhere" Chuck paused and looked at the floor nervously as if he was debating whether to say the next bit ". . .and on a personal note he was the guy that suggested a threesome to J-, . . The woman I had been seeing"

"Oh. . . " was all Dean could think of saying.

Chuck stood up abruptly and started pacing back and forth in the small office next to the supply storage "Yeah but none of that matters if he's going to be useful on the factory run"

Dean felt slightly guilty that Chuck was willing to put aside the gossip and his personal shit for the good of the camp and Dean was childishly pouting in a corner with his arms crossed telling Blonde Eric he couldn't play with them out of jealousy for Cas. 

He did however, feel some satisfaction at the thought that this guy was a douchenugget - it made Dean feel less guilty about disliking him. Dean sighed again "Yeah, if he'll be an asset to the run, I guess he should stay on"

Chuck didn't say anything else about it and sat back down to consolidate the supply lists.

Dean had a question brewing in his head that he wanted to ask Chuck but it was coming from the part of his brain that he had been trying to ignore all day. He started tapping his pen nervously as he debated whether asking would reveal too much about himself.

"Was there something else, Dean?" Chuck's voice broke Dean's swirling thoughts 

"Naw. . . Ye- maybe?" Dean tried not look at Chuck as he tried to choke his question out "do you um know anything else about blonde Eric . , . Like maybe how he relates to other people or if there are people that he seems to see a lot or whatever" reeeeal smooth winchester - deans inner voice slow clapped his attempt at casual.

Chuck seemed positively confounded before he spoke "Are. . . Are we talking about Cas?"

"What? No. . . I mean unless Blonde Eric is with Cas a lot. . . Is he with Cas a lot?" Dean was completely frustrated with himself - Why cant he shut up??

Chuck pondered for a few seconds "I haven't seen them together but Uh I heard from the woman I was seeing that  Cas and Blonde Eric had been having regular sex at some point"

"Uh huh. . . And has Jane had sex with Cas?" Dean's mouth had obviously decided to go rogue.

"How did you-" Chuck's voice reached a startling high.

"You're not very subtle and I'm pretty sure when you were talking about her the other day you mentioned her by name - so has she?" Dean deadpanned.

Chuck went still and his gaze seemed to glaze over "Oh. . . Uh no, not as far as I know. . ."

Dean felt such a wave of relief that he almost didn't catch the rest of what Chuck was saying "-Which makes sense considering Jane is pretty dominant and I've heard Cas can be . . . Uh . . assertive when it comes to sex"

Dean blinked more than he normally would as that information processed through his brain. He thought back to that morning and remembered Cas reaching back to grab Dean's ass to pull him in on each thrust and how easily Cas had flicked Dean's pants open or guided they're hands on his hard fat cock. . . Suddenly - Dean's blood was pumping too fast and too heatedly to the south. Dean stood up from the desk in a jerky movement "so I'm done for the day I think - I'll um see you tomorrow morning at the meeting"

"Uh yeah . . . goodnight" Chuck's voice squeaked.

Dean started to walk out but decided to turn back to Chuck last second "hey listen Chuck. . . thanks"

"For what?" Chuck seemed genuinely perplexed.

"Just thanks, I don't think I've ever thanked you for everything you do for the camp" Dean really did want to be a better friend to the people that had his back.

Chuck immediately looked at the ground "Oh um that's ok I mean Yeah not that I think that I um yeah"

Apparently chuck did not receive compliments well either.

Dean shook his head in amused endearment, bid him a good night and headed off to his cabin to hopefully sleep and not wallow in anger, confusion, self pity and unsatisfying masturbation because of his attractive best friend who apparently enjoys being the guy who fucks as opposed to the guy who gets fucked.

Dean stopped walking and gulped comically - would Cas want to fuck him? If Dean couldn't even bring himself to put his dick in Cas - in what lifetime would he be ok to have Cas inside him? But Cas had asked Dean to . . . What's the word. . . Top? Did that mean Cas wasn't really dominant but liked to switch it up? Dean glanced around feeling like his thoughts had exposed him in public, he sighed and dug his hands into his jacket and away from the chilly air.

Dean sighed for the hundredth time that day. . ."Yup, definitely an unsatisfying masturbation kind of night" he mumbled to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this story was supposed to finish this chapter but they've only had 3 cuddles! I can't end it like that! The next chapter is another cuddle chapter - plus lots of flirting.
> 
> And for anyone reading my priest fic - I definitely haven't forgotten it, I've just had to go back and reread it so I can continue it.
> 
> Thank you for everyone's kudos, comments and subscriptions - I'll hopefully be updating this fic regularly again <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's inner voice, flirting and more cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a thing in fics that I find weird where Dean realises he's bi but somehow knows all the gay sex vocabulary for some reason - this is not one of those fics.

Dean's was producing a lot of body heat but because the night was extremely cold due to the storm set to roll in - he had broken out into one of those gross cold sweats.

The vivid sexy scenarios that kept unfolding in his mind weren't helping the body heat situation either.

As he got nearer to his cabin he got an overwhelming sense of déjàvu as he saw Cas sitting at his door smoking a joint again.

Even in the limited light, Dean could see those bright Blue eyes looking at him. A deep rough voice pierced through the dark and the cold "Hello Dean"

"Hi Cas" Dean tried to sound as casual as he could but his voice still came out a little uneven "what can I do you for?" Dean finally reached his cabin door.

"I think you've been sprinkling crack on those cuddles of yours because I'm jonesing pretty hard over here" Cas said quite nonchalantly.

As Dean opened his door he turned to look at Cas who had a wide toothy grin waiting for him. 

Dean tried to suppress the smile that was threatening to appear on his face but it was definitely a losing a battle, he turned his face away and headed into the cabin.

"Are you sure you're not doing actual crack while we. . ." Dean suddenly felt that Cas wasn't behind him anymore - he looked to the door and Cas was standing just outside the doorframe with his hands behind his back and with an embarrassed look on his face as the cold wind picked up behind him.

Dean did NOT find the scene adorable beyond all reason and definitely DID NOT want to pull Cas into his cabin and . . . Do. . . Guy sex stuff to him. . . With him. . . Dean swiped his hand over his face - he was so out of his depth here. 

"Cas, did you get bitten by a movie vampire or something?" Cas tilted his head ac dean continued "Do I have to invite you in before you set foot over the threshold?" Cas hesitated for another moment  "Cas, Get your ass in here, it's fucking freezing out there."

Cas stepped into the cabin sheepishly "no I didn't get bitten by anything. . . see " Cas bared his neck to Dean in a playful manner as he shut the door.

Dean's body automatically leaned toward Cas' bare skin and then suddenly stilled by a swelling heat that he felt at his very core. If Cas was supposed to be some sort of dominant sex machine why was he so submissive toward Dean?

Cas smiled shyly and let go of his collar "I guess after this morning I just wanted to give you some space . . . Figuratively and literally"

Dean breathed in and closed his eyes moreso to calm his mind and body down - the fact that he breathed in Cas' natural scent was an accident . . .a guilty happy accident "I guess, We should Uh talk about this morning, right?"

Cas shrugged "if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to, it occurred to me it was probably your first time experience of that nature with a man and you might feel a bit. . . confused"

Dean felt a strange pull in his stomach that felt like a mixture between arousal and embarrassment "Could . . . Um. . . Could you . . .tell?"

Cas seemed to be snap out of a thought "Could I tell what?"

Dean looked away and chose his words very carefully "That it was . . . my first time . . . doing . . . anything like that with a guy"

"Oh. . . no, not at all, I mean well there was that moment where you flat out said you couldn't go further but that was understandable . . . I feel bad for pressuring you to continue really" Cas looked down at the floor and looked more tired than Dean had ever seen him.

"if I didn't want to continue I wouldn't have continued" Dean stepped closer to Cas.

Cas was leaning on a small desk in the corner of Dean's cabin and was playing with a small pot plant that Dean didn't recognise but figured Cad had brought in at some point "But you did want to run afterwards" Cas asked with a voice obviously straining to sound casual.

"That. . . " Dean was going to lie but decided to tell the truth last second "Yeah"

Cas' face fell for a second before the non chalant mask fixed into place again "is it me?. . . Is it because you . . . regretted what happened?"

"No, of course not" and Dean surprised himself by the swiftness of his answer, he really didn't regret what had happened "You were so vocal and knew exactly what you wanted, frankly it was really hot" Dean swallowed and continued "plus if it was just a pity grope or whatever - in pretty sure I wouldn't have come so hard and so much" Dean gave Cas a sideways glance to see his best friends reaction.

Cas had his head slightly lowered and was obviously suppressing a smile as a rosy hue began to colour his cheeks "Oh" Dean heard Cas barely whisper.

"then why. . ."

Dean breathed in deeply suddenly really frustrated with himself because he couldn't exactly answer that question yet "I don't know man, I guess it's ingrained or something" At the back of Dean's mind the stern disappointed face of John shook his head.

The room filled with an uncomfortable silence all of a sudden that throbbed through the cabin.

Cas straightened up from the desk "I can go if you want"

That was the very last thing Dean wanted at that moment "No, it's ok, you're here now we might as well cross off one of those cuddles right?" Dean laughed nervously trying to lighten the mood but could tell he had said something wrong when he looked back at Cas.

"I. . . I didn't realise you saw them as a chore" Cas was determinedly not looking at Dean.

"No I don't. . ." Dean sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger "Cas, it's been another long-ass post apocalyptic day and I'm going into the heart of crote town tomorrow so will you shut up and get on the bed already?"

Dean turned to take his jacket off but could both feel and hear Cas make his way to the bed. A small smile tugged at the side of his mouth until he managed to shuck his jacket off and could feel the aftermath of the cold sweat from before.

He felt gross and probably didn't smell any better. "Uh I'm just going to take a quick shower" he announced toward the general vicinity of where Cas was.

Before he got a response Dean had closed the door of the small bathroom and was stripping his clothes while his mind raced.

What was the plan here? Were they just going to cuddle and then Cas was going to leave? Or was the cuddling going to lead into something else like this morning?

As the warm water seeped into his chilled body, Dean realised they hadn't even kissed! Even with the drunkest of hook ups Dean had always kissed them first - the order was kiss, touch, fuck not cuddle, hand job and then wish you had kissed.

Dean sighed and let the water pour over his head and back when he spotted the lotion he used to masturbate with. A flicker of a thought crossed Dean's mind - what if Cas wanted to. . . Do more. Should he prepare? He'd never really touched his own ass in a sexual situation before, just accidental feather light touches that hadn't really felt like anything. He'd had some anal sex before with some more adventurous ladies but there was so much prep work that he hadn't enjoyed it as much when he had finally gotten to the main event.

Dean shook his head sending water out all around him. He had to pull himself together, the lives of his people were in his hands tomorrow and he couldn't let himself be distracted by sexy thoughts of how Cas might or might not touch him. . . 

He got out of the shower, put some boxers on and brushed his teeth while his half erection went down. He then got a wooly blanket from the cupboard in the bathroom, he really liked the feel of the soft wool directly on his skin and decided against pyjama bottoms or a shirt even though the chill had started to affect the cabin.

As he went back into the main room prepared to defend his decision of being in his underwear to Cas - he realised that the ex angel had gone to sleep.

Dean crossed the room and kneeled on the bed trying not to jostle the sleeping guy too much. He felt a bit creepy just watching Cas sleep but he figured it was payback for all the times that the angel had literally sat and stared at him for full nights. 

Cas looked more like his old Angel self while asleep, the lines on his face from either frowning too deeply or laughing too wide were smoothed out and his eyelids flickered slightly as if already dreaming. Dean found himself momentarily wondering what Angels dreamed of.

Dean spread the woolen blanket on top of Cas and left a bit for him to slide into. He turned the light off, locked the door and padded back to the bed. 

As he tucked himself in, he debated whether he should turn away from Cas and go to sleep or turn toward Cas and snuggle up to his side. He could imagine Cas the next day fighting tooth and nail that the cuddle didn't count because he wasn't awake for it. Dean huffed in amusement before he lightly touched Cas' shoulder. "Cas? Are you asleep?"

"Mmmmudmmm" came a soft grumble from the floppy haired man next to him.

Dean chuckled to himself at the disgusting adorability before him and tried again "Cas, did you still want to cuddle?"

Almost instantly, but not very elegantly, Cas flipped over and snuggled right into Dean's side.

Dean made an involuntary "oof" sound but was immediately very distracted by Cas' nose which was slowly nuzzling Dean's neck and it set off all sorts of warm flutterings exploding in his stomach.

Once the shock had subsided and Cas' breathing had evened out again, Dean relaxed into the mattress as he let the warmth of his best friend envelope him. 

The last thought before his mind fizzed into unconsciousness was how nice it would be to go to sleep and wake up everyday like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose if you wanted a shorter fic - you could probably stop reading here and it's a nice fluffy end. . . But I've written out the summary of the rest of the story and it's definitely not over. . . I've been leaving all kinds of hints to what's coming and I'm actually quite excited now!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this fluffy chapter and as always - thank you to all who kudos'd, commented or subscribed, y'all keep me motivated <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cuddles and Smut

Dean woke up sensing pleasant warmth surrounding him and without a hangover, which was an odd occurrence for Dean, he thought with a distant sadness. 

A rhythmic pressure on his side was the next thing that Dean noticed through the sleep haze, followed by an internal building pressure that at first felt like he needed to pee but as the pleasure began to make him squirm he realised that it was definitely of a sexual nature.

He opened his eyes groggily to see the top of Cas' head and felt that he was dry humping Dean presumably in his sleep.

Dean smirked to himself as his arm around Cas' shoulder squeezed a couple of times "Cas?"

"Mphmmp" replied a rumbling around Dean's nipple. 

The heat from Cas' mouth sent a jolt of pleasure from Dean's nipple down to the base of his cock where his enthusiastic appendage gave a healthy twitch.

Cas repositioned himself and began to piston his hips with more force while starting to make breathless little moans against Dean's neck.

Dean cleared his throat "C-Cas? Are y-you awake?" Dean's voice was trembling at the sheer will power it was taking him to not flip them over and go to town on Cas.

All of a sudden Cas stopped rutting and his body tensed, his breathing was still harsh but it seemed more subdued like he was trying to not breathe. For a moment Dean thought Cas had come on his hip "Cas are you awake now?"

Cas' blue eyes shot up to look at Dean and then he buried his face in Dean's chest "I'm so sorry Dean" came cas' muffled voice dripping with embarrassment.

Dean gave his shoulder a little squeeze and chuckled "it's ok Cas, let's just put it down to the fact that you never went through puberty and you have to make up for embarrassing boner stories"

Cas looked up at Dean and gave him a sheepish smile.

Dean was suddenly very aware of how close their faces were - if either of them leaned in just that little bit closer they could be kissing. . . And suddenly Dean REALLY wanted to kiss Cas.

Before Dean made his move however a flash of fear crossed Cas' face before the hippie ex angel was sitting bolt upright on the bed.

Dean's disappointment was overshadowed by the worry that he had said or done something wrong . . . Again "Cas? What's wrong" Dean reached out to hold Cas' shoulders but thought against it as a gesture that may insinuate a more intimate relationship than they actually have.

Then again they had gotten each other off the day before and they had just slept all tangled up with each other . . . How much more intimate could they be?. . . Well. . . Dean's brain flooded his mind with a helpful array of things they could do to that would make them more intimate. 

Oh shit Cas was looking at him expectantly - "Cas, what just-"

"Sorry Dean, It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable " Cas said with a tinge of sadness that confused Dean.

"You didn't. . . I mean the early morning dry hump was a surprise but I Uh didn't hate it. . . " truth was, he didn't, it was kind of. . . Hot?

Cas turned to look at him but got distracted by something "I can see that"  Cas smirked with a twinkle in his eye.

Dean followed Cas' eye line and realised that he was looking at the clear outline of Dean's erect dick - complete with the tip slightly poking out through the button opening. 

Dean instinctively covered his shame with both hands as the blood in his body was obviously confused by where it was needed most at that moment.

Dean's mixture of embarrassment and arousal made him look at a non description spot on the far wall "Sorry, you were just making some really um hot noises before and-"

Cas cut in before he could continue "You know, it's a shame that there's that no jerking your friends morning wood rule because otherwise I could have helped you out with this" Cas softly placed his long fingers over Deans hands and Dean felt his dick twitch underneath them.

No longer feeling embarrassment Dean smaller brain made the decision of where this conversation was going to head "Heh, well I wouldn't really call it a rule. . . It's more of a guideline. . . A suggestion really. . ." Dean slowly slid his hands away to let Cas' fingers stroke down the slightly too tight fabric just barely keeping his erect cock from busting through.

He hissed at the contact and had to place his hands palms down behind him to stop himself from simply letting himself flop back onto the bed. He felt another pleasurable twitch of his cock as Cas got closer and started squeezing the tip with every stroke.

This is it, Dean thought - their first kiss. . . Not exactly how he thought it would happen what with the apocalypse and having gotten each other off previously but he was not going to go on the damn factory run where he could possibly die, without knowing what those chapped lips taste and felt like. . . 

As Cas got closer, Dean leaned in only to be left almost puckering as Cas dodged his mouth and began gently sucking on Dean's neck. 

What the hell was going on? Not that the neck sucking wasn't setting Dean's veins on fire but they were skipping a fundamental step on the fooling around scale goddamit!

Dean lost his train of thought as Cas made his way down Dean chest stopping for a minute or so at each nipple to lave them with his velvety tongue while continuing to stroke over Dean's now painfully hard dick. 

"Cas. . ." Dean hadn't realised he was so breathless.

"Mmmm lay back for me" Cas pushed on Dean's shoulders.

Dean's back landed on the mattress with a thump as his eyes widened - was this dominant Cas now? Oh god, what if Cas wanted to fuck Dean right now? Dean broke out into a sweat that was part arousal and part nerves. 

Cas was making his way down Dean's stomach but stopped and looked up at Dean through his eyelashes "it's too bad we have to go to another meeting in an hour, but I guess a stellar blowjob will have to suffice for now" Cas grinned a wide predatory smile as he began to slide Dean's boxers down.

"U-uh y-yeah . . ." Was all Dean could muster as he felt and heard the wet slap of his erection hit his stomach.

The feel of skin on skin as Cas' fingertips slid up and down Dean's shaft felt almost electric - Dean's hips involuntarily pumped up into the eager hand seeking friction.

Dean was only just getting over the shock of pleasure from Cas' hand when he felt something hot and wet tease the slit of his cock.

Dean's eyes shot open not entirely realising when he had closed them, to see Cas wriggling his abnormally long tongue in the slit and then circling around the head without any sort of pattern. The sight made Dean tremble and had he to will himself not to come from the view alone.

Even though Dean knew what was coming next - the sensation of his cock being enveloped by Cas' mouth was almost too much to bear.

At the back of Dean's mind that wasnt drenched in hormones; he wondered why everything with Cas felt a hundred times more intense than any other times. Dean had received a shit load of blowjobs in his lifetime but he had never  been so incapacitated by one before - he literally could not move apart from the twitches his hips made searching for more wetness and more heat. 

The cabin could erupt into flames, Crotes could swarm the room and Dean would not even care as long as Cas never stops slipping, wrapping and flicking his tongue around Dean's cock.

Cas slid his mouth down further until he managed to reach Dean's balls with his tongue and laved them with a mixture of his saliva and Dean's precome.

Dean is embarrassingly close to coming when suddenly Cas lets his mouth sink impossibly lower and Dean feels the head of his cock bump the back of Cas' throat.

Dean should feel bad that he doesn't have time to warn Cas before what feels like pure heat is ripping out of his cock and down Cas' throat. Yet Cas is effectively swallowing every last drop adding an almost too good feeling to Dean's sensitive cock head.

Cas slides his mouth off Dean with a loud pop and a sigh as if he just quenched a desert thirst and Dean's cock flicks back up towards his own stomach splashing a dribble of come that makes it way out like a finishing touch.

Dean is vaguely aware through the blissed out fog that Cas repositions himself so that he straddles Dean's hips, Dean half opens his eyes just in time to see Cas hunch over and lick up the dribble of come off of Dean's chest, grazing a nipple that makes Dean shiver. He's pretty sure that if he hadn't just violently come, that sight would have triggered something carnal in him, his dick twitches feebly in confirmation.

Cas leans in towards Dean's face and Dean wonders if this is finally it, are they finally gong to kiss? The prospect of tasting himself isn't exactly unappealing but he's never had a clear inclination for it either. 

Cas' lips are only a couple of inches away from Dean's and they're both clearly looking at each others lips when Cas speaks "you taste incredible, Dean Winchester"

They're basically sharing the same breath that hitches a little on Dean's part at Cas' words.

An abrupt knock on the cabin door pops the hypnotic bubble they were in and a flash of an unreadable emotion is on Cas' face before he rolls off of Dean.

Chuck's voice calls out from outside "Dean, I just need to go over some stuff with you before the meeting"

Dean frantically pulls his boxers up over his softening dick as Cas gets up from the bed awkwardly which Dean realises is because he is sporting a rather large erection.

As he heads towards the cabin door Cas walks to the bathroom and closes the door gently.

Dean sighs and can't help but feel a little disappointed by the fact that he didn't get a chance to return the favour. And THAT'S got to be a first - Dean Winchester : disappointed he didn't get to suck a cock. 

He puts it down as that he is simply a generous lover despite the fact that his mouth starts salivating at the prospect of sucking sinful noises out of Cas. He clears his throat and opens the door only to realise how fucking cold it is and he is still only wearing his boxers.

Chuck had already started walking away but turned around when he heard the door open "good morning!" Chuck's face fall a bit when he takes Dean's appearance in "sorry I- I didn't mean to wake you"

"It's fine chuck what were you after?" Dean is putting on a brave face but in reality is freezing his balls off. . . His freshly Cas-licked Balls. . .

Thankfully Chuck holds up a few ledgers that distract Dean "I just wanted you to check over the last supply numbers before the meeting as you're probably going to be spending the rest of the day on weapons checks and tactics"

"Uh yeah, sure" Dean is suddenly very conscious that the cabin probably smells like sex but doesn't have time to make up an excuse to go somewhere else before Chuck walks in as he would any other day.

Dean is glued to the spot watching Chuck's face for any disgusted reaction - Chuck stops fiddling with the ledgers he's placed on the small desk for a moment and sniffs the air. Dean holds his breath but is relieved when Chuck sneezes and then continues flipping through pages.

Dean has barely recovered from the suspense when the bathroom door opens and a shirtless Cas walks out. . . And his hair and torso are all wet as if . . 

"Thank you for letting me use your shower, Dean" Cas does a natural looking double take "oh hey Chuck - could you get Barry to take a look at the shower in my cabin, it's been playing up for a couple of days"

"Sure thing, I'll have it fixed for you before you get back" replied Cas wih a friendly smile and then turns back to the ledgers.

Cas nods and starts walking toward the door, he grabs the doior knob and looks at Dean with a toothy grin and the fucker actually winks at him before shutting the door.

Dean is so flustered by the turn in events that he lets himself fall into the chair next to Chuck pretending he is paying attention to the ledgers when in actuality he's just relieved to be sitting down and not standing on his wobbly post mind blowing orgasm legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longish smutty chapter for y'all - hope you enjoyed.
> 
> I'm working on the next smutty chapter of my OmegaPriest!Cas fic so that should be up soon too.
> 
> My new shop also opened this week if anyone's interested veegiggity.com
> 
> As always thank you to anyone who takes the time to kudos, subscribe or comment (on any fic really) <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck is more perceptive than he looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter before the action starts.

Dean retained about 60% of what Chuck had been saying - mainly it was Chuck trying to get his head around the what ifs (what if you don't come back? What if one of the fences come down? What if we don't have enough supplies for everyone??) Chuck tended to freak out the morning before a run more than the people actually going. Which in hindsight, Dean should have known better than to have anyone in his cabin the morning before a run.

His mind kept wandering to a skilled mouth belonging to an ex angel he was determinedly not going to name. . . For a brief second he wondered if that unnamed ex angel was thinking about him too. . . Dean quickly shook himself out of girly and/or dirty thoughts. 

"Basically just ration the long life stuff and make sure the fresh stuff gets used up at least until we get back with more supplies - I doubt this trip will take us more than a couple of days, Chuck. You'll be fine" Dean got up and stretched a bit before he remembered he was still in his boxers "Right, well I'm going to have a shower before the meeting" he looked over at Chuck to say goodbye but the former prophet was still sitting at the table with a far off look on his face.

"Something else on your mind, Chuck?"

Chuck looked up with a jump as if he'd forgotten Dean was in the room "B-Be careful around blonde Eric"

Well that wasn't what Dean was expecting "Why exactly?"

Chuck got up and started pacing with his hands around his back "Remember I was told you he was a bit of a brat with sharing stuff?"

Dean watched the nervous Chuck scratch his arm absentmindedly "Yeah"

"And that he was a bit of a sexual predator and a bit territorial?"

Dean didn't quite remember that bit "Yeah I guess"

"Well . . . he's really into Cas" Chuck looked at Dean straight in the eye as if trying to convey a different meaning to what he was saying.

Dean's stomach churned "And what Uh does that have to do with me?" Dean kept his voice even. . . Too even maybe? 

Dean could have sworn he saw Chuck roll his eyes slightly before he continued "Well. , . You and Cas are close"

Suddenly very aware of his own skin, Dean started laughing nervously "Haha yeah but it's not like we're giving each other blow jobs or anything, haha that would be weird. . ."

Chuck's eyes widen in incredulity "um. . . Oookay. . ."

Dean suddenly very defensive, blurted out "There's nothing going on between me and Cas"

Chuck started speaking slower than usual as if speaking to a wounded animal "I didn't say there was . . .I just meant that you guys have Uh that bond thing even before the apocalypse . . . and blonde Eric might see it as . . .a threat . . . To his conquest of Cas. . ."

Dean's body relaxed and he sighed "yeah I get what you're saying Chuck, I'll be careful"

Chuck finally gathered his things and headed towards the door, before he walked out he turned to Dean "oh and Dean if you don't want people to think there's something going on between you and Cas - I would just stick to saying there's nothing going on because now I just kind of think you and Cas are blowing each other"

Chuck shuffled out leaving Dean wide eyed and mouth open.

"We're not" he whispered to no one in particular and technically he wasn't lying they hadn't blown EACHOTHER . . . 

'Yet' Dean's brain provided helpfully.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to pull back his emotions but Cas isn't helping by being all sexy and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a beast to write but I think I covered everything I wanted to. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> And as always thank you to all who make the effort to kudos, comment and sub <3

Dean hadn't masturbated in the shower despite the multiple filthy thoughts that swam around his head. His dick was threatening to harden much to Dean's surprise given his decreased refractory period as he had gotten older. Dean however knew that any sort of peak his hand could give him would be nothing like the awesomeness that was Cas' mouth earlier.

Briefly, Dean wondered if he'd be able to repay the favour before he left for the factory but decided against hoping simply because he would want to take his time . . . If he were ever going to do something like that.

Dean got changed and headed out to the training cabin to talk to the 15 or so people that were going on the run that night. He grimaced at having to be in the same room as Blonde Eric but let his negativity dissipate as he focused on what he had to do throughout the day.

The cabin was already warmer than the chilled air outside, Dean figured it was because people had gotten there early and had already started stretching knowing that Jane was going to go through a few defensive and offensive moves with them.

Dean never really went through these drills because he was confident enough with his hunter reflexes and skills - he mainly looked in on these things to see what he had to work with as far as people that he would be relying on. The last thing he wanted out in crote infested spaces were hesitant or weak willed soldiers. That sort of shit could end up costing someone their life.

Halfway through the training session, Dean already had a feel for his soldiers. He also knew one thing for sure : even if Cas was out of the equation, he's pretty sure he'd dislike Blonde Eric. 

Over the period of an hour - the blonde menace had managed to hit on every woman in the room and some of the prettier men and when Jane had gone through defensive stances - he had stood in the corner of the room with  two equally douchey looking guys (Dean didn't recognise) and sneered at everyone presumably for learning defensive moves.

Good, Dean thought, maybe his cockiness and lack of defensive skills would teach him a lesson out in crote ville. . . Of course a lesson out there usually meant death and no matter how much Dean hated Preppy Le Douche already - he didn't wish death upon anyone. . . especially because death was already so forthcoming without an invitation.

It's when he's glaring at the preppy bastard that he feels someone get close to his side and whisper "Did you know you have a throbbing vein on your head that gives away your thoughts?"

Dean turned and was met by two very blue, very familiar eyes looking back at him with a mischievous twinkle. Before Dean could say anything, Cas grinned and added "you have one on your forehead too"

Dean blinked several times realising what Cas had said and his dick gwve an interested twitch at being mentioned albeit via innuendo. He had opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Jane who had noticed Cas.

"Castiel! Everyone this is Castiel, he's going to teach us a few defensive throws and talk about the usefulness of found objects" Jane sounded excited and motioned for Cas to go up in front of everyone.

Dean looked at Cas and smiled "yeah professor Cas, teach us your secrets"  
Cas rolled his eyes with a cheeky smile that made Dean's stomach do a flip and sauntered up to the front of the room.

Dean's flirtation was weak at best and had managed to work him up more than it probably did Cas. . .  There was something very attractive about the thought of Cas in a tweed jacket and glasses that left Dean's mouth dry and his cheeks warm when he imagined it.

He had been so distracted by his thoughts that he hadn't heard Cas start talking and like the meeting a couple of nights previously - Cas talked confidently and firmly about what might help them run from the Crotes. 

When it came to teaching a few throws - Castiel had asked for a volunteer and had looked pointedly at Dean. Before Dean's mind could even register what was happening, Blonde Eric had eagerly already stood next to Cas (way too close if you asked Dean).

Dean narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, he was not going to let this bother him. Cas didn't miss a beat And continued his lesson. Dean gritted his teeth when on a particular demonstration, Blonde Eric had to get behind Cas and wrap an arm around the ex angel's chest. 

Dean tried not to think about the last time he had Cas in a similar position. 

The real test of Dean's will power however, came when Blonde Eric had the audacity to slide his free hand down Cas' back and rested it on Cas' toned ass with a squeeze. 

Before the ball of angry fury in Dean's belly had a chance to reach his limbs to go up and punch blonde Eric in the dick, Cas had effortlessly flipped the douchebag on his ass and had started talking calmly "this move is not only good for temporarily disorientating Crotes but is also good for defending yourself against would be sexual predators"

A soft snicker filled the room and Dean who's muscles were starting to cramp from being in an "about to pounce" position, let himself relax. 

His relaxation didn't last long though as he saw Cas look down at Blonde Eric and offer his hand with a genuine smile. 

Sure, Cas could just be showing everyone else the importance of good sportsmanship but then Blonde Eric leant over and whispered something in his ear and Cas had laughed, actually laughed. 

It's a laugh that Dean had only ever heard him make after he had started to lose his angel powers and he thought that it had been only in response to Dean. 

A tightness around Dean's chest made him feel like he was going to hyperventilate. Which in itself was disconcerting but also made him feel like some sort of jilted prom date.

In another time in his life he would be sure that a siren or a Cupid or some other fucked up love creature was behind his sudden dip into emotions but since the apocalypse - the creature front had been pretty quiet besides a few stray vampires here and there.

Nope, it was definitely Dean at the helm of this chick flick.

He felt the bile rise up his throat and stomped out of the cabin feeling a little relief when the cold outside air hit his lungs. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out there before he heard footsteps behind him.

"Dean?" Came the stern yet warm voice of Jane.

"Hey, is the session over?" Dean's voice sounded hoarser than usual - probably due to the panic attrack he nearly had.

"No, Cas still has a couple more pointers he's giving now" she sat down next to Dean and looked at him sympathetically "Hung up on Cas, huh?"

"What? No! Have you been talking to Chuck?" Dean hoped that he had a better poker face than that . . .maybe not today.

"Chuck?" she scoffed "what would Chuck know!" There was a bitter tone that Dean could tell was fresh but suddenly, in defense of his friend, Dean's back straightened and his voice lowered "Chuck knows more than you'd think"

She raised her eyebrows and looked out toward one of the fences "he's just so indecisive" she barely whispered.

Dean grinned "Hung up on Chuck, huh?"

Jane looked at Dean with wide eyes and then started cackling in the kind of way that Dean used to find really attractive in women he met in bars.

Dean smiled but then felt a pang of the previous tightness in his chest at the reminder of why he was out there in the first place.

Luckily Jane interuppted his train of thought with an almost worried tinge to her voice "Dean. . . Watch your back on the run"

Dean rolled his eyes "Are you going to warn me about Blonde Eric as well? Man you and Chuck must be talking a lot"

A light blush appeared on Jane's cheeks "Eric is not used to being told that he can't have something. She lowered her voice to a whisper "to be completely honest, he's got all the makings of a sociopath"

Dean vaguely remembered Chuck mentioning Jane being a psychology professor before the apocalypse and his brain unhelpfully gave him the sexy professor Cas image he had tried to stamp down before.

They sat there in comfortable silence lost in their own thoughts until the first couple of people started to filter out of the training cabin.

Jane gave Dean a tight nod and headed inside. Dean had a lot of things to still do but the pull in his belly was telling him to wait til everyone had left and go see Cas. Dean stood and turned only to bump into the smarmy douche of the hour. 

Dean felt his fists clench and his eyes narrow.

Blonde Eric gave him the smarmiest smile he had ever seen and then mock saluted Dean. The two other douchebags chuckled behind him. Dean held his stance as Eric walked by never breaking eye contact in a weak display of high schoolesque dominance. 

Blonde Eric was taller than Dean by a couple of inches and had broad shoulders but was gangly and Dean had no doubt he could take him in a fist fight.

The preppy asshole shook his head with a douchey smile and walked away with his cronies in tow.

Ugh what could Cas possibly see in that dickbag? Dean unclenched his fists and walked into the cabin only to nearly bump into Jane.

"Oh Dean, could you help Cas pack things up? I just remembered something I had to do" Dean nodded and was about to turn to Cas when he caught Jane giving him a knowing smile before she walked out. Dean groaned at the fact that he might have to deal with her setting up ways to leave him and Cas alone. . . Which If he was completely honest with himself didn't sound that terrible.

Dean felt himself blush a little when he looked toward Cas and saw him reach down for something - Dean was reminded that Cas was not a fan of underwear when the curve of his ass was a little too defined "I hear you need a strapping young buck to help" Dean said in the huskiest voice he had - more out of frivolity than seduction.

Cas turned around and smiled back at Dean "depends what you're here to help with".

Little Dean was excited by the prospect of more fooling around but there was something niggling at the back of his mind that he had to get out in the open first "I'm surprised Eric didnt stay to help" Dean raised his eyebrows and casually looked over at Cas.

Cas looked back at him again witb a confused expression "which Eric?"

"Chuck said there was only one?" Dean said uncertainly.

"There's Blonde Eric and one of the guys who's nearly always with him is Brunette Eric" Cas shrugged.

"Meh, they both seem pretty douchey" Dean said as casually as possibly but was still trying to gauge Cas' reaction 

Cas leaned on a table and half sat half stood as he turned to fix his blue eyed gaze on Dean "The Eric's can be a handful but they're strong fighters"

Dean frowned and tried to ignore the word 'handful' as a double entendre "Word on the street is that you're sleeping with blonde Eric" Dean blurted out.

"Word on the street?" Cas raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah Cas, it means people are talking about it"

"I know what it means, Dean - I'm a fallen angel not an imbecile" a wave of irritation seemed flow through Cas' words "I just didn't think you listened to gossip"

At the risk of annoying cas further dean lowered his voice "Its not just gossip if it's true though"

"True." Cas said thoughtfully "But then I've already told you that I've had sex with Blonde Eric so I wonder exactly what information you're trying to get from me right now" Cas stood up and walked up into Dean's personal space with his arms crossed over his chest.

Dean hadn't counted on Castiel's straightforwardness so he decided to go a difderent way with the conversation "You know I've been warned about him twice now?"

Cas looked at Dean with uncertainty again "warned? About what?"

Dean sighed "You. He's apparently obsessed with you and might see me as a threat"

Cas let out a low chuckle "I think whoever has been feeding you this gossip might have overestimated my interaction with Blonde Eric"

"Or maybe you're underestimating your draw" Dean barely whispered.

"My draw? Is that a euphemism for underwear because you know I dont-"

"No Cas - I mean the pull that you have - um like you're a magnet and everyone else is helpless and just needs to crash into you" Dean was pretty proud of the comparison until he looked up and saw a distressed look on Cas' face

"Thats awful . . . I dont want people to be attracted to me by force I- mmph"

Dean couldn't help himself, Cas lips were all plump and pouty and in seconds he had reached out and pressed them up to his own.

Dean was disappointed to realise that Cas wasn't responding. . . He wasn't pushing Dean away either which he could and would have, Dean thought. 

Dean continued to pepper soft kisses onto unmoving lips and was about to pull away in defeat when he felt the slightest movement of Cas' bottom lip. 

Dean slowed his kisses down to make sure he hadn't imagined the tiny movement but seconds later - another motion that was too deliberate to be a twitch, bumped his bottom lip.

Dean held his breath for a couple of seconds before the lips pressed up to his own exhaled a whimper and started kissing back enthusiastically.

Dean was beyond happy, the chaste kissing was making him feel warm and tingly and bright and shiny. Dean wanted to envelope himself in the feeling and wanted everything Cas was willing to give him. The amazing feeling traveled through his mouth, down his throat and surrounded his heart and suddenly the feeling was ten times more intense and felt almost like his very soul was being caressed and nuzzled.

He wanted more but the moment Dean softly let the tip of his tongue slide across cas' bottom lip - he knew he had made a mistake.

In two seconds flat - he was on his ass looking up at a distressed looking Cas who seemed to be breathing heavily and gently touching his lips with the tips of his fingers. "Y-you kissed me" Cas said in a slightly accusatory manner.

Dean's heart ached to have that warm feeling back and his chest hurt from presumanly cas pushing him away "I-I'm uh you kissed me back?"

Cas looked down at Dean with the most stunned expression Dean had ever witnessed on anyone "I did?" Cas slapped one of his hands over his face and groaned "I did".

Dean had no idea what was going on and as he opened his mouth to state as such, he was cut off by an alarm blaring outside.

An alarm they only ever heard during drills.

An alarm that meant one of the fences had been compromised and Crotes were within the camp


	13. Chapter 13

Cas' face went from molested prom date to bad ass warrior in seconds. "Dean, we have to protect the camp" Cas turned his head towards the door as if listening intently "it sounds like it's coming from one of the fences not far from here"

When they set up the camp alarm system they had the foresight to make each alarm sound a little different in case of an emergency, the camp leaders would know where the problem was by sound alone and would be able to steer the rest of the camp away from danger.

He was surprised that Cas remembered considering he had obviously been high as balls during that particular meeting.

With a flash of a confused look, Cas started to head toward the door.

"Cas, wait!" Cas stopped at the doorframe and turned to look at Dean with a blank face. "What Dean?

"Where are you going?"

Cas gave him another confused look "Toward the fence?" He asked more than stated "the fence needs mending and Crotes need to be subdued before they hurt anyone"

A sudden urgent need to protect Cas exploded within Dean at the mention of his angel being anywhere near a crote. . . Dean winced internally at the possessive thought skimming over the fact he had mentally referred to Cas as 'his angel' "Why, um. . .why don't you go check on the bigger cabins to make sure everyone is safe?" Dean's voice wavered at the end which did not incite the command of a camp leader he was going for.

Cas narrowed his eyes and sighed "Dean, despite whatever is going on between us - I'm not some distressed maiden that needs to be kept safe. Additionally, if I'm to suffer sobriety, I might as well put it to good use by fighting and protecting our home."

Despite Dean knowing that the irritation in Cas' voice was directed at him, some messed up part of him felt a thrill in his spine at Cas being all assertive and making reference to the camp being their home. His cock twitched in agreement which even Dean felt inappropriate considering the current situation.

An idea hit Dean and he looked out one of cabin windows to check the surroundings "Ok. . . I get it, But who's going to protect the kids that are currently taking their lessons in the back cabins?" Dean knew he was playing dirty, there was no way Cas wouldn't go help the kids now the suggestion had been made.

He risked a glance towards the ex angel and saw a look of resignation and then worry pass through his clear blue eyes. Dean knew he had won.

Dean walked past Cas as they headed out of the training cabin trying to hide his smugness, their shoulders barely swiped against eachother and a jolt of the same feeling from before spread throughout Dean's body from the point of contact. 

Dean shuddered and Cas gasped as they looked at eachother acknowledging that they had both felt it.

"Cas. . . " Dean hardly recognised his own breathy whisper.

Cas' arm twitched up in an aborted move to touch Dean before speaking in a huskier than normal growl "Dean there's more important thing we need to take care of right now" he looked away from Dean "plus we both have to survive this to complete our cuddle contract" he said with a ghost of a smirk.

Dean knew he should be the one taking charge of the situation right now but his body had become hot from the small contact and light flirtation and all he wanted was to have his lips on Cas, anywhere on him, he would eagerly lavish attention on a pinky if that was all he could get.

He must have subconsciously reached forward because Cas was backing away in a mild panic "Dean focus! The camp is in danger"

Whatever fog Dean's brain was wading through cleared a little at those words and he found himself blushing - there was definitely something wrong with him. The thought of a Psiren or succubus or a stupid sex spell or something equally as ridiculous had started to feel not so far fetched.

Dean composed himself as best he could when his whole body seemed to be itching to plaster itself to Cas "Go, keep the kids safe" he managed to say through gritted teeth.

Cas nodded and opened his mouth as if to say something, shook his head and softly said "stay safe, Dean" and then headed out the door.

Dean whispered "stay safe, Cas" but was sure Cas without his powers probably hadn't heard it.

The time between when the alarm first went off and when Cas had left the cabin were mere minutes but Dean still felt a guilty churning in his stomach that told him if anyone had gotten hurt in that time because he was too busy thinking with his (apparently) gay dick - he would never be able to forgive himself.

Dean started running toward the alarm trying to ignore the pull in his belly telling him to follow Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had thick sludgy writer's block and I've rewritten this chapter 4 times. This is the only part of the rewrites that I didn't hate with the fiery passion of the seventh circle of hell. It's short but it has hopefully dislodged some of the cogs in my brain. 
> 
> I um started writing another fic to help with the block called 'Loincloth' and it is a destiel AU stranded on an island cliche fic. . . Because apparently I commit to new fics when I Shouldn't - that should be up in a day or so.
> 
> Also go check out a short one shot I wrote about a couple of weeks ago called "unicorns".
> 
> Thank you as always to everyone who has commented, subscribed and kudos'd it's so freaking appreciated <3 <3 <3


	14. Chapter 14

Dean tried to calm himself with the thought that he hadn't seen many Crotes hanging around the fences recently. Usually there would be a couple of them stalking the perimeter that had wandered from town but they were quickly brought down with sniper rifles by whoever was on perimeter watch that day.

Still, Dean knew that even one crote could cause a whole lot of damage . . . Which he saw first hand when he reached the fence nearest the supply cabins. . . There were at least 5 people writhing or dead on the floor bleeding ; which Dean immediately realised meant infection . . . and then. . . And then he saw Jane's lifeless eyes looking back at him from the ground by the fence - blood starting to clot around her neck and side.

For a fraction of a second all Dean could think was 'I was only just speaking to her' followed by 'if I wasn't so wrapped up in my teenage crush on Cas - she might still be alive' before someone was shaking his shoulder. 

Luckily before Dean could react defensively - Rheesa's face came into view and she was shouting at him but he couldn't hear anything except a distant drumming that he realised must be his own blood pumping through his body.

A swift but sharp slap to Dean's face later "Dean! Snap the Fuck out of it, we've managed to bring down two Crotes between the 3 of us but there's still one running around the camp!"

The last bit sunk into Dean's brain . . . Cas was still in danger. Finally the world seemed to come back online and Dean was able to take in the scene around him - Rheesa and the two other camp leaders Mark and Grady stood waiting for Dean while keeping their eyes on the surroundings.

"W-which. . . " Dean's tongue felt thick and dry in his mouth "which way did it go?" He managed to ask more assertively.

Rheesa pointed down one of the slopes leading to the big food court type cabins where most people ate. 

A rustling from their right had all 4 of them turning defensively ready to attack. 

Blonde Eric jumped out from behind the supply cabin with a rifle on each shoulder and holding his hands up in mock surrender "haha chill guys, it's only me, thought you might need some back up" behind him, Brunette Eric appeared along with the third nameless cronie that Dean didn't bother to remember.

Blonde Eric handed one of the rifles to Dean with a smirk "you know how to handle yourself with one of those, tough guy?"

A huge part of Dean wanted to punch the smile right off of his smug preppy face but the leader inside him knew that the more help they had securing the area - the quicker they could do damage control.

Dean's communication skills were finally kicking in "Grady, you're with me on that Crotes trail, Rheesa, you and bl. . . Eric go around and head it off from the other side. . . The rest of you stay here and patch that fence. If anyone on the ground stands up, shoot them."

Dean's eyes were drawn towards Jane's deceptively bright eyes, he turned to Mark and Blonde Eric's cronies "cover the dead until we can move them"

An audible harrumph took Dean out of the strategising in his head "That's a crap job, I want to go look for the crote!" Said Brunette Eric in a slightly high pitched whine.

Dean turned to look at him putting as much heat into his glare but was taken aback by Brunette Erics appearance. He almost looked like Cas. . . There were slight differences like the man in front of him had a slightly smaller nose and his eyes were a bit closer together but he looked like he could have been Jimmy Novak's cousin or something.

Had this guy always looked like this? Why hadn't Dean ever noticed? 

Dean had gotten all up in the guy's personal space without realising.

Brunette Eric stared up at Dean seemingly not intimidated by the threatening closeness of the camp leader "see something you like, Boss?"

"Get to work on the fence" Dean growled as he stalked away "everybody has their jobs - Grady, let's go" Dean put the sudden attraction down to adrenaline and whatever the hell was going on between him and Cas and focused on tracking the crote.

Grady was not much of a talker and in the 4 years he had been with the camp, little was known for sure of his life before the apocalypse. He was found barricaded in a small pharmacy protecting his niece. 

Dean knew he had been in some sort of gang in the past based on his tattoos but Grady had more than proved himself as a functioning member of the camp - he was strong, didn't complain and despite his hard appearance was very gentle when he spoke, especially with his niece.

Dean also suspected that Grady might have had some sort of military training if his gait and strategising were anything to go by, easily earning him a leader position within the camp.

Dean lead Grady through the camp walkways tracking the crote hoping they wouldn't find any more dead bodies or worse : infected people that could spread the virus.

"Was there anyone guarding the kids today?" Grady asked Dean in almost a whisper.

Dean realised he was asking from worry for his niece "They had Millie teaching them today and she's pretty resourceful when needed - remember when she used to go on runs?"

Grady grunted in agreement.

"I um also sent Cas to protect them before I headed to the fence" Dean glanced at Grady who had a questioning look on his face. "He was sober" Dean added.

Grady gave him a curt nod and continued scanning the area.

They both froze when they heard screams. . . High pitched screams. Childlike screams.

They sprinted down to the cabins usually reserved for the small amount of kids on the camp.

Dean was worried for everyone, for the kids, for Grady and his niece, for chuck when he found out about Jane, for all the people in the camp and for Cas who Dean seemed to have sent directly onto the path of a crote. 

He felt like he was going to throw up.

They rounded past one of the larger cabins to see the little hands and heads peering through the cabin windows. Millie, the camp teacher ran out crying "Dean! You have to help Cas! He distracted the crote away from the kids and lead him that way" she pointed toward the area of the camp that used to be a baseball field but was now used for growing crops.

Dean barked orders at Grady to protect Millie and the kids and ran into the crops squinting as he saw 2 figures in the distance near the perimeter.

Dean's mind went blank as he sprinted across through crops, all he was aware of was the pull in his gut telling him he needed to protect Cas.

As Dean reached the clearing his heart stopped and his mouth went dry, Cas was on the ground motionless and a bloodied female crote was sniffing his head.

Suddenly everything turned red in Dean's vision and he was emptying the rifle bullets into the crote effectively pushing it back away from Cas in a barrage of bullets.

Dean threw himself on the floor almost on top of Cas, once he was satisfied the crote was not getting back up, he could feel the back of his eyes burning as Cas lay too still before him.

"Cas. . ." Dean couldn't say anything more without breaking down completely but one look at the deep bite on Cas' shoulder broke him and he started to sob on Cas' chest.

"Excuse me, O Fearless leader but your sexy man sobs are distracting me from healing myself" came the rougher than usual voice.

"Cas??!" Dean's eyes shot up finding cloudy blue eyes looking back at him.

Dean scrsmbled to check the ex angel for any signs of the virus or a fever. Cas just gave him a weary smile "perhaps you thought I'd leave this world with out claiming the rest of my cuddles?"

"Don't ever do that again!" Dean's words were fuelled by concern but when they left his mouth they sounded angry and hurt.

"Ok" Cas said somewhat confusedly.

Realising that he was half on top of Cas and that their faces were extremely close, Dean felt a warm tendril of arousal rush up his spine that set off an anarchy of butterflies in his stomach.

Would it be completely inappropriate to kiss Cas at that moment? Dean suddenly craved the soul licking sensation he had experienced while kissing Cas less than an hour ago.

He realised he had been staring at Cas' lips for god knows how long and made the executive decision to slowly lean forward giving Cas more than enough time to stop him. 

Dean felt his heart beating extremely fast and could feel Cas' chest taking shallow breaths beneath him. Just as Dean's top lip barely grazed the top of Cas' mouth, Cas groaned and sighed "Dean, I still haven't fully healed myself, and the last thing either of us want is for me to turn full crote mid embrace"

That should have been a bucket of cold water on Dean's libido but it only took his dopamine flooded brain to a sub/dom place that had never held much of his interest until that moment.

And wasn't that all kinds of wrong? Dean nodded his head at Cas and the ex angel closed his eyes understanding that he should continue healing himself.

"Wait, I thought you didn't have enough grace to heal big stuff?" Dean asked remembering the day they had unexpectedly gotten eachother off. . . The memory washing over him in warm sensations throughout his body.

Cas' eyes fluttered open after a few moments "I had left reserves in case of emergencies, I believe turning into a crote and devastating the camp - qualifies"

Dean nodded again but still didn't move off of Cas.

Cas tilted his head slightly in a gesture that made Dean's insides feel strange "Dean am I to assume you're not going to move while I heal?"

"Um no? I mean I will if you want me to, but Uh I could stay. . ." Dean cleared his throat "for. . . Protection?"

"Right." One of Cas' eyebrow arched up and a small smirk was playing on his lips "but this doesn't count as one of the cuddles"

Dean hid his smile by leaning the side of his head on Cas' chest. Even though he was very aware that something supernatural was definitely playing with his emotional responses - he couldn't help but feel happy near Cas "definitely doesn't count" Dean murmured as he felt the familiar thrumming of power that was unmistakably Cas healing himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few more chapters to go! Hope you're enjoying!
> 
> Nothing but love for all the subs, kudos and comments <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams sometimes have a way of revealing things.

Dean was driving down the highway in his beloved Impala. God, it felt good to be inside her again, Dean giggled a little at the innuendo and then wondered why he hadn't driven her in so long. 

He hummed along to a Black Sabbath song he hadn't heard in forever and felt like the only way this moment could get better is if there was a beautiful big breasted woman massaging his dick oh look, there WAS a beautiful woman reaching over and unzipping his pants. . . Dean's face fell as he realised he must be dreaming and that as soon as he woke up he'd be back in Crote town with a drug addicted Cas and a brother who's body was being possessed by Lucifer himself. Dean sighed but let the large breasted woman do her thing as flashes of Cas lying lifeless on the dirt invaded his mind.

"Is this what you dream of?" Came the rumbling sound of Cas' voice. 

Dean looked around the Impala but Cas was no where to be seen, he looked at the beautiful women next to him and she had her head tilted to one side. . . Huh, almost like. . . "If I knew that you enjoyed handjobs while driving - I would have offered" came Cas' voice again but much to Dean's horror the voice was actually coming from the beautiful woman currently fondling his balls.

"C-cas?"

Cas or Cas in a woman's body looked down and took his/her hand away to fondle her breasts "I'll admit, these are fun to play with" Dean was getting an extremely confused boner at that moment "Cas, change into you or let the girl be a girl or whatever the hell is going on here". 

Cas looked up at him still holding the perfectly shaped breasts "are you sure Dean? These can be very fun to put your dick in between" as he spoke Girl Cas had reached over to stroke Dean's dick again - Dean nearly drove them off the road as he choked on his own saliva "just change into Cas!" 

There was a blur around the beautiful women's edges and then Cas materialised exactly in the same position she had been in. . . Including the hand that was massaging Dean's dick.

Dean couldn't help but notice that Cas had appeared in his old trenchcoat and suit combo and he suddenly felt a jolt of nostalgia that was laced in arousal. Cas' face however had the slightly vacant eyes and hobo-like peach fuzz that Dean had grown to. . . Get used to.

A smile played on Cas' lips "I'm glad you like this form better than the busty woman" he said as he leaned down to nuzzle at Dean's heated crotch.

Well this had taken a turn but to be fair a little crotch nuzzling was tame compared to other dreams Dean had. The nuzzling was even quite calming until he felt Cas' deft fingers expertly whip Dean's dick out and within seconds Cas had the wet heat of his mouth engulfing down Dean's hot taut flesh.

"Oh Jesus cas" Dean managed to whimper, he remembered that he was in a dream and decided to enjoy every lick and slide of the ex angel's sinful tongue.  "Ungh, yeah Angel, just like that, baby" he let himself say as Cas made little pleased noises against Dean's dick.

"I knew it" came a familiar voice from the backseat.

Just to make this situation more horrific, Dean looked in the rear view mirror and found exactly what he had dreaded - his brother smirking at him like having an ex Angel of the lord completely ravishing Dean's dick with his velvety mouth was a normal occurrence.

Dean started to panic and tried pulling Cas up by his hair but all that did was rip a long moan from the ex seraph which in turn vibrated down Dean's dick and up his spine. Dean's eyes rolled back and couldn't help the long shuddery moan that ripped out of his throat. . . Is was all so very wrong.

"Well don't let me stop you" came Sam's amused voice from the back seat.

An excited squeak sounded from Dean's crotch and Cas finally pulled off with a loud pop and looked at the back seat "SAM!" He all but squeaked.

One second Cas was in the front seat and then the next instance he was in the back seat lunging at Sam after a familiar wing fluttering sound that Dean hadn't realised he'd missed so much.

Sam playfully backed Cas up a bit "No offence, Cas, but I'd be willing to hug you longer if I hadn't just witnessed you giving my brother a noisy blowjob." 

Dean could see from the rear view mirror that Cas blushed a little but kept hugging Sam.

"How are you Sam?" Cas' familiar deep rumble asked as his big blue eyes studied Sam intently "your soul seems to be in tact, where are you?"

Dean was about tell Cas to calm down with the questions when Sam chuckled and started talking.

"Um I'm not entirely sure. I know lucifer still has my vessel and he tries to make me watch the awful things he does but I've been able to refuse lately" Dean felt a pang of guilt as it seemed he had never asked his brother the right questions. 

Dean suddenly realised there was something weird was going on " Wait, so am I still dreaming or. . . ?"

Cas and Sam looked at him like he was demented. "I'm definitely real, Dean and this is definitely Sam's essence" Cas smiled at Sam adoringly and Dean felt a twinge of jealousy. . .

"But you guys are in my dream right?" Dean suddenly had an existential crisis of whether he was real or not but kept steering the impala down the highway just to have something to do aside from freaking out.

Cas smiled at him through the rear view mirror "Yes Dean, you seem to be a point of convergence" 

Dean still wasn't too sure what was going on but he relaxed at Cas' (dream Cas'?) assurance "Uh ok, so this whole time I've been talking with Sam's . . . Essence?"

"Apparently" Cas turned to Sam "where are you when you're not here or being forced to watch Lucifer's actions?"

Sam looked out of the car wistfully "Mostly in old memories, old hunts with Dean, times with Jess. . . "

Dean's throat nearly closed on him at the sudden wave of sadness he felt at the thought of his little brother's life being so painful.

Sam cleared his throat sensing the emotions filling the impala "How about you, Cas? Dean told me you're basically human now?"

Cas' sadness replaced the emotions floating around inside the impala "yes, I am more human than angel now" the ex seraph sighed and Dean's heart felt like it was going to shatter "the first few months were the hardest, it wasn't like last time where I gradually lost my grace, it was like somebody was physically ripping my grace out, separating it from my very being" Cas looked down at his fidgeting hands "every second of every day was actual agony, until. . ."

"Until?" Sam and Dean asked in unison.

Cas kept his eyes fixed on his lap as if he was ashamed "We raided a pharmacy. . . Painkillers sounded like exactly what my body needed. . .and then alcohol was also helpful" Cas picked at invisible lint on his jacket ". . . and when those two things weren't doing their job anymore, I noticed people found Jimmys vessel attractive and sex became another outlet to vent the pain and frustration of being torn apart on a sub atomic and metaphysical level"

Dean didn't know any of that . . . He had no idea, all he could remember of the first months after the apocalypse was . . . Was drinking and trying to find a way to get Sam back. . . He vaguely remembered raiding a pharmacy and . . . And . . . And throwing some painkillers at Cas because he was complaining about a headache. Oh god. . . Dean felt the bile rise in his throat.

"C-Cas, Did I. . . Did I do this to you??" Dean barely controlled the shaking in his voice.

Cas was by Dean's side in an instant placing a warm hand on Dean's thigh "no Dean, Jimmy had a chemical dependency before I inhabited his vessel - it's the reason he turned to religion as a young adult, I guess this vessel was already predisposed to addiction and I should have known better" Cas' hand squeezed Dean's thigh gently in reassurance.

Dean relaxed a little but didn't feel any better, he figured if they were airing stuff out he might as well ask something he had been curious about the last couple of days "what about the sex?" 

Cas smirked at Dean "what about the the sex?"

Dean tried to pick his words but everything came out of his mouth at a ramble "Like who was the first? Did you enjoy it? Have you. . . Have you kissed people you've been with?. . .  Oh god - were you pressured into it??"

Cas cuddled up to Dean's side and gently stroked Dean's thigh in a calming way "Shh no Dean, as you may already know, alcohol and drugs can be social lubricants and I was curious about my body. Everything I've done, I've done because I wanted to. . . Although. . . "

Dean caught Cas' eyes with his own "Although? Did someone hurt you?? Because if they did-"

Cas shook his head "No, nothing like that. . . I guess . . ." Cas met Dean's eyes and they were so full of . . . Hope?

"Something's different" came Sam's voice from the backseat and it somewhat broke the intense staring match. . . Always the little cockblocker thought Dean with a smile "what's different?" He asked without taking his eyes off Cas who had turned to look at Sam, the road long forgotten considering he was dreaming anyway.

"You Dean, you've got like a shimmery edge around you. . . " said Sam scrutinising the space around Dean.

Dean felt a bit self conscious all of a sudden - was it something to do with his feelings because he definitely couldn't handle anymore touchy feely crap at that moment.

Cas squinted at him "I see it too, it's. . . It's not a part of you but it's . . . Encasing you?"

The scrutiny from his two most loved people unnerved him. . . As did the thought of him inadvertently using the L word to describe what he felt for Cas.

Cas' eyes widened "I think it's a spell!" The ex angel grabbed Dean's face and stared into his eyes with a frown "ugh I can't tell what kind. Have you felt different lately Dean?"

"Um, not really"

Cas didn't let go of his face presumably trying to work out what he was seeing "Have you done anything recently that seemed out of character for you, anything at all could give us a clue to what this spell is doing?"

Dean thought about the question And the only thing out of character for him lately had been . . . Dean gasped. . . no. . .

He looked at Cas not wanting to say what had been different about the last few days but with that single look Dean knew Cas had understood because the ex angel backed away as if burnt and his eyes conveyed such pain and heartbreak Dean had to look away before his own heart shrivelled up and turned to dust.

"What is it? What's different?" Sam's worried voice drifted from the backseat but it was already sounding faraway as Dean felt himself waking up in a fit of sadness, confusion and rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *THE ANGST*


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean thought maybe now he knew about the spell, it must have become clearer in his head? He didn't feel that desperate pull in his stomach willing him to be by Cas' side, at least that was something. . . Maybe the spell was wearing off?

Dean woke up with a start feeling as if he had taken a wrong step and was falling. There was a thick herby smell in the air that made Dean think of Bobby for some reason.

His dream. . . Something about Cas. . . And Sam was there maybe? The dream had already started to slip through Dean's mind like mist.

His eyes accustomed themselves to the light shining through his cabin window. He was definitely in his own cabin but he had no idea How he had gotten there from. . . 

With a sudden migraine everything from the last few days came crashing down on him, Sam's essence?, the cuddling with Cas, the feelings of jealousy, lust and affection, the kiss, the attack on the camp. . . Jane.

Dean's head throbbed as the dream he'd just been having seemed to force its way to the forefront of his mind. 

If it was real, it meant Sam was still out there somewhere! But how could he be sure? Cas had been so sure that it really was Sam. . . Cas.

A spell. 

He was under some sort of spell. . . A spell that made him think he was in lo. . .

That he had feelings for Cas. 

It definitely explained the last few days, thinking about Cas made his stomach feel warm and fluttery even now but different somehow. 

Clearer? His feelings for Cas were definitely clearer right now. Less obsessive need for him and more warm and fuzzies. Dean thought maybe now he knew about the spell, it must have become clearer in his head? He didn't feel that desperate pull in his stomach willing him to be by Cas' side, at least that was something. . . Maybe the spell was wearing off?

A pang of a sour feeling shivered through his whole body and Dean laid back down onto his bed shutting his eyes to counteract the nausea.

Why did the thought of the spell wearing off make him feel physically ill? Maybe it was the spell protecting itself. Ugh Dean didn't want to think about it anymore.

He had to check on the camp and his people. He had no idea how long he'd been out for or what the total damage of the attack had been. 

Now more than ever he needed to organise an emergency run for supplies and medicine too.

Dean got up from his bed expecting to feel light headed but he felt . . . Fine. 

A little cold maybe. . . Which was not surprising since he seemed to be only wearing his boxers. 

He put on some jeans, a tshirt and a jacket but as he was tying his boots, a thought crept into his brain. Who had undressed him? He had no recollection of anything beyond . . . Cuddling with Cas in the field as the ex angel healed himself.

Dean's stomach started rolling with warmth again as the foggy satisfaction of being near Cas permeated his mind. Maybe it had been Cas who had undressed him? The warmth in his stomach started to drift down into his abdomen as Castiel slowly sliding his clothes off of him invaded his thoughts.

"Focus Winchester", he said out loud. Stupid love spells.

He finished tying his boots determinedly not remembering how amazing Cas' silky mouth had felt surrounding his dick. Or how sweet his lips tasted when he started to kiss back.

Cas had kissed him back.

Was Cas under a spell too? Dean cringed at the idea of Cas only kissing and touching him because he was under a spell. 

Outside, the cold pre storm weather felt good on his overheated cheeks as he put on his game face and made his way through the camp looking for the remaining leaders.

A cold fear set into Dean's gut as he noticed there was literally no one around. He took out his gun and ran toward the largest cabin at the camp and breathed out in relief as he saw and heard the bustling of people surrounding the cabin.

As he got closer to the crowd, he put his gun away, a few of them shook his hand and relayed their relief that he was ok. It seemed like he had only been out for a few hours.

"Dean!" Chuck's voice cut through the rabble and Dean felt a small piece of his anxiety break away at knowing chuck seemed to be ok.

Chuck's eyes were pink, no doubt having already found out about Jane. 

"Everyone is accounted for" Chuck said with an audible sadness.

Dean reached out and gave the smaller man a quick but tight hug which the ex prophet only shakingly returned for a few seconds before he nervously started reading from his clipboard trying to hide the light blush that had appeared on his cheekbones at the attention.

According to Chuck's report 3 people had been killed, 17 injured and Cas who had survived the attack. 

"Where's Cas?" Dean asked in a low voice.

Chuck looked up from his clipboard "He wasn't with you?

Worry flashed through Dean's thoughts as he shook his head "was he supposed to be?"

"Y-yeah, after he finished healing himself he basically Uh carried you to your cabin and said he was going to heal you too" Chuck started looking around the crowd as if Castiel was just going to be standing there all of a sudden. 

Instead, Rheesa's weary face came into focus infront of Dean "Dean, I'm glad to see you're ok" she said softly. "You too, Rhees" Dean squeezed her elbow and gave her a small smile which she returned "You should address everyone, they need you now more than ever to be their leader" Dean nodded but hesitated as he did another sweep of the crowd for blue eyes and dark hair. 

His eyes focused in on who he thought was Cas for a second only to realise he was looking at brunette Eric who gave him a wink and a wave.

Dean waited for the attraction he had felt earlier but felt nothing. Good, Dean thought, as he got the attention of the crowd that the spell must be wearing off.

After offering his condolences to the family and friends of the three they had lost, he announced the factory run was still going ahead and that they would be leaving in less than an hour to get the necessary supplies. He finished with an uplifting speech which he hoped no one would notice was very similar to the one said by Bill Pullman in Independence Day. 

It however seemed to do the trick as everyone cheered at the end and set off to fix the damage done to the camp, whether it was to reinforce the fences, console the younger ones or prepare food for the camp.

Much to Dean's relief, as everyone besides the team going on the supplies run dispersed, a more familiar blue eyed man approached Dean with caution.

"Cas" Dean hadn't meant to say his name like a relieved whispered sigh but there it was.

Cas hesitantly stopped a couple of feet away from Dean.

"Dean" Cas also sounded relieved which made Dean's stomach flutter.  
   
Cas looked at him with a familiar intensity "How are you feeling? I got back to your cabin and you weren't there." Cas looked at Dean from head to toe presumably to check if he was ok. Dean could only blush and fidget under the scrutiny like a horny schoolgirl  

"I Uh. . . yeah, sorry. . . I didnt know what was going on. . . " maybe if he had waited a little longer, Cas would have returned and they could have . . .  Dean rubbed the back of his neck but looked up just in time to catch a shy smIle from Cas "I'm not the one that was all heroic and shit" Dean said with a wide grin.

Cas' ears and neck broke out in a pretty blush that he remembers from their last uh . .  tryst. Dean cleared his throat "What about you? All healed up? You're not going to turn all crotey on us or anything, right?" Ugh crotey?! What was wrong with him? He sounded like a bumbling 12 year old with a crush.

Another shy smile flashed across Cas' face that had Dean itching to touch the ex angel. Seriously, fuck this love spell.

"Yes, I'm healed. . ." Cas bit his bottom lip and looked around suspiciously before lowering his voice to a whisper "What about in regards to . .  um. . . other things?" 

Dean wasn't sure what of many things Cas was talking about but leaned in and started whispering as well "Other things?"

Cas' brow lowered into a frown reminiscent of his angel days "Dean, I was there in your dream, the spell, are you still affected by the spell?"

Dean realised how close their bodies were and the fluttering in his stomach started abruptly "Uh yeah I think so."

Cas' frown deepened but didnt move away "Hmm, Maybe if I trade the basil for clove . . . " Cas mumbled to himself as his eyes went a bit glassy from thinking.

"What?" Dean asked dumbly.

Cas snapped out of his thoughts and looked like he realised how close they were standing to each other because he took a small step back sheepishly "A cleansing ritual, I've been casting every cleansing ritual I can remember to get rid of the spell but it's hard with limited supplies"

Ah dean thought, that would explain the herby, Bobby like smell in his cabin "That desperate to get rid of my affections, huh Cas?" Dean had meant it as a way to lighten the mood but it came out somewhat. . .  pouty.

Cas' eyes immediately dropped intently to the floor "I would think you would be desperate to be rid of your affections for me" he said in a small sad voice.

Dean leaned in to Cas' personal space as the ex angel looked up "I. . . -"

Blonde Eric had suddenly crept up and was standing infront of them with a death glare directed at Dean "Are we doing this or what?" 

Dean stood up straighter at the aggression rolling off of Preppy Von Douche "Yeah, everyone grab your weapons and armor, we're heading out in five minutes" Dean said loud enough for the rest of the team to hear.

Blonde Eric narrowed his eyes at Dean and then glanced over at Cas with what could only be described as a smoulder. Dean nearly punched him in the gut.

Dean's rage dissipated as Cas began to speak seemingly oblivious to Blonde Eric's heated looks "Dean just tell me - are you still. . . Do you still. . . "

Cas had never been so nervous like this and Dean couldn't help find it adorable as fuck, so adorable he had to look away lest he grab the ex angel and kiss him silly.

"Yeah" Dean sighed and looked up fully intending to meet Cas' eyes but got stuck on Cas' full lips, lips that he knew for a fact were softer than they look. Dean caught himself before he started to lean in again and sighed "yeah Cas, I still really do".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is all written out in draft and I'll try my hardest to have the rest of it up by the end of the month.
> 
> I finally sat down and wrote it all out when I started writing a Harry Potter/SPN crossover and I really didn't want to have 4 WIPs under my name.
> 
> Priest fic is also getting updated soon. So eventually I'll only have Loincloth and HPXSPN open. Hope you enjoyed and as always Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou to everyone who has subscribed, Kudos'd and commented, it means the world to me and encourages me to continue writing <3


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